Negima! Magister Negi Magi
Manga | |
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Genre | gay/lesbian fiction, nonfiction, adult books, children's/early readers, heavy metal, third person shooter |
Written by | Akamatsu Ken‘s assistants, while dressed in maid outfits |
Published by | Kōdansha |
English Mistranslation Publisher | Del Rey (US); Tanoshimi (UK) |
Demographic | People of all ages, colours, fetish, genders and religions. We got errbody in this manga! |
tankōbon | 38, plus like a hundred spin offs. |
Anime Televised Series | |
Directed by | Akamatsu Ken‘s assistants, while wearing nurse outfits |
Music by | The goddesses themselves |
Studio/Sexual Innuendo | Shaft |
TV Networks | Terebi Tōkyō; UnImation |
Unoriginal Run | 2005 to 2005 |
episodes | 26 |
“In Soviet Russia, Negi rapes YOU!!”
“When 31 girls and one guy get in a classroom together, shit happens.”
“I pity Negi Springfield bein whoop'd by Asuna Kagurazaka”
Negima! Magister Negi Magi, known in Japan as Magical Teacher Negima! (ネギ・スプリングフィールドと
It is the story of nine year old wizard Negi Springfield, who is sent off to an all girls school filled with female paedophiles, most of whom take vast amounts of growth hormones. Being another illegitimate child of the very crafty Akamatsu Ken (creator of Rabu Hina), there are copious amounts of fan service using incredibly well-drawn sexually suggestive pictures of hot 15-year-old Japanese chicks. The series received critical acclaim for being very well crafted in showing the delicate balance between panty shots and mages who can brutally kill someone. The series also ranked in the top 10 for ‘hottest set of minors as characters’, beating all other known harem and/or ecchi manga. The Bleach and Naruto fans beg to differ because they suck.
Two anime series and several OVA adaptations, produced by Xebec, Shaft and GANSIS, were animated to ensure otaku like you spend every cent of money they have and die homeless. They chose to camp outside cinemas in anticipation of the film, entitled Negima: The Final Anime We Can’t Think of a Good Name For so We’re Calling it Anime Finale. After the series ended, the otaku disappeared into the night or something.
Plot overview[編集 | ソースを編集 ]
All versions of Mahō Sensei Negima! begin the same. Wimpy-voiced Negi Springfield is a ten year old Welsh mage in search of some good pot his dead father, Nagi Springfield. Everyone knows Nagi’s dead, but when Negi was five, his female cousin put on a fake Nagi beard and said ‘Negi, take this staff to remember me before I die’. Negi, treasuring the staff (which was actually just a tree branch) dedicates his entire life to becoming a magister magi (aprox. Latin translation: master of maxis). Upon graduating from the magic academy in Wales, which is not in any way based off of Hogwarts, the school dean Alpus Dumpledore sends him to train his magic by teaching English at Mahora Academy in Japan, where he's not even allowed to use magic. He replaces William Shakespeare as 2- A’s homeroom and English teacher, because Shakespeare chose to teach 2-B (or not 2-B).
Negi has to deal with 31 estrogen-raging cows schoolgirls conscious of who has the bigger boob size and who likes Negi most. Adding insult to injury, it isn’t just a set of normal, smart and fecking stupid students. Rumours have been swirling around that a ghost, a Martian, an android, a ninja, a perfectly normal girl, a half-demon and even a girl who knows how to drive a car are in the class.
After Negi is sexually assaulted by an EPA estimated 90% of the class, Nodoka slips over a banana peal, and Negi saves her life in slow motion. Kagurazaka Asuna makes a discovery. ‘You’re a wizzard, Negi’, she says, and decidedly agrees to join forces in the mad duck man hunt for his father and to fight the evil magical forces of Voldemort and Christine O'Donald. Their first job is to find and stop the reported vampire attacks on students. They meet up with Evangeline McDowell on a full moon, and the following dialogue is exchanged:
Negi: I know what you are.
Evangeline: Say it. Out loud.
Negi: Vampire.
Evangeline: Are you afraid?
Negi: N-n-n-no. Wha… Why— why would I be afraid? Heh. Just kidding about the stuttering thing. Biatch, why would I come out here if I were scurred, hmm?
Sadly, even to this point in time, the girls in 3-A do not take Negi seriously since he has not yet hit puberty. Out of all things, Negi has topped the rankings as ‘most favourite plaything’ over the dildo. However, many of his students become valuable prostitutes allies, and he uses his wand, or magic stick, to help them feel the magic come inside them. It feels so good they don’t want to stop.
Manga[編集 | ソースを編集 ]
The manga starts off paralleling the anime. As always, Negi Springfield is on the verge of being the victim of sexual assault at an all-girls school, which is no total surprise when you put cute ten year old in a class of 31 estrogen-charged girls. The ball gets rolling once they have a school-wide field trip to Kyōto. At this point, the girls start a "kissing Negi" contest to satisfy their lustful roricon desires. Negi runs away and steals a bike.
In mad pursuit, Negi jacks Dawn's Crimson Mazda with the 22-inch rims and makes his way to a random US interstate highway chased by the police, D.E.A., and local gang members. Nobody can find him, but through technicality, Miyazaki Nodoka ‘trips and falls’ on Negi's lips which occurred about sixty hours earlier.
At Mahora Fest, an ancient Buddhist traditional Japanese festival of Hello Kitty parades, robots, and Pocket Monster battles, Negi meets Colonel Sanders (no, seriously), with whom he fights to the death just for the fun of it. Colonel Sanders wins the fight, then proves Nagi is alive by showing an old baseball card with Nagi's picture on it. As with the kiss Negi contest, Colonel Sanders received the card as a reward for kissing a young Nagi Springfield when he was curious in college. Negi then decides he likes kicking ass and casting vicious spells (but he's all out of ass temporarily). The girls go along with that. As the ass kicking proceeds, a group of girls that are suspected of having ‘extra’ relationships with Negi go along with him to the magical world (Mungus Magicus, Florida) of floating whales, giga-tech cannons, talking animals and the Quidish World Cup.
As the search out to find his father thins out, life for Negi gets even worse. Suddenly, while going through the airport check, an Muslim fundamentalist unknown enemy (most likely Naruto because he thinks he is more 1337 than Negi) sets off a C4 bomb. The plan fails due the expert use of defusing kits by 1337 counter-strike counter-terrorist units. But, in a way, the plan works by the great multitude of people mobbing the counter-terrorists and separating Negi and his clique of hoes schoolgirls from one another.
Negi then finds his students, one or two at a time, which is actually kind of easy because Chachamaru, being an Android, tracks people's location like Apple.
Negi joins UFC tournaments with Izumi Kotarō under the pseudonym Nagi Springfield (mostly because he’s still wanted for stealing that car). There he meets Jaku Rakan, a champion weightlifter, with whom he learns to fight and take steroids. Not yet satisfied with his training, he talks to Evangeline via Skype, and she teaches him magia erebia, a skill she herself invented for emo kids. It does bring Negi the power to turn into a super saiyan, but causes him pain, makes his hair grow longer and darker and requires that he write poetry and cut himself every five seconds.
When it is revealed that Asuna is a princess, she is kidnapped by the Ice King. Negi goes to save her, but when he gets to the castle, a talking mushroom says:
So Negi decides to stop getting high enough that mushrooms are talking to you and come up with a real plan to find Asuna. After several hours of planning, Negi and his students decide on their strategy: They'll go put out an amber alert to see if anyone finds her for them. It doesn't work, so he comes up with a real-real plan.
Ala Alba decides to storm the castle and stop the bad guy—a mysterious cloaked man who has stolen the philosopher’s stone and killed Harry Potter’s parents. Soon after begins…The final battle! After these commercial messages! *McDonald's commercial plays*
Haruna drives her space ship through a battle scene as the Star Wars music plays. Arriving at the castle, they see an emo girl named Zazie Rainyday, and guess what? She was actually in the class the whole time, and you never bothered to pay any attention to her except that one time when she did a naked back flip in the shower. So anyways, there's this whole thing where there's a real Zazie and a fake one and it's supper confusing and they all get to see their perfect world. In Negi's, he wakes up in the morning feeling like P. Diddy, grabs his glasses, goes out the door and finds his loving parents are still with him. Negi decides to leave, however, because he valued his obligation to help the magic world more than his parents. Jerk.
So after that long interruption, the final battle really begins. After another commercial break. And another fight scene… Well, at least it's not as long as Naruto. Yet.
TV Adaptations[編集 | ソースを編集 ]
First Anime[編集 | ソースを編集 ]
The anime starts off with three thirty minute previews in hopes to boost viewers ratings and deceive the audience with the message that the anime might be better, even though that has never happened in history. These previews were subject of controversy due to the fact they plagiarised the first few chapters of the actual anime since they could not find anything original like Star Wars episodes one to three.
There are 26 episodes using time-slicing documentation of whatever happens at Mahora Academy. Of course, like any bad good anime, they rip off the manga until they can think of a crappy way to the end the show in only 26 episodes. Thus, halfway through episode 22, the storyline drastically shifts in a different direction than the manga.
For the sake of spoilers, someone named K Asuna dies. Actually, that's too obvious. Let's say Kagurazaki A dies. However, that would be a kinda sad ending, so the whole class goes back in time to old Germany, where Walt Disney is killing Jews. Negi shoots him in the head, after which the narrator from Halo to say 'Killing spree'. Walt Disney can no longer buy Asuna's soul in exchange for immunity to magic in the future. The class goes back to the future by driving 85 mile per hour and finds Asuna alive and well. Everything is fine, except that everybody has found out that Negi is a mage, which is punishable by death. By hanging. After being waterboarded. And so they all live happily ever after (I think). The End. :)
Spring and Summer OVA's[編集 | ソースを編集 ]
Just to be to see how hot fifteen year old Japanese anime girls look in swimsuits and milk all the money away from your pockets, the spring and summer specials (having one episode each) were released. Meaning buy it, 'cause sometimes fifteen year old hotties are just worth it. And besides, it's not like they were posted on YouTube or anything…
Negima!?[編集 | ソースを編集 ]
“I has not-ting berter to do…”
Negima!? retells the story of Negima! with more focus on action, due in part to producer Michael Bay's help. Even though Akiyuki 'I just whooped the shit out of your first season, Damn I'm awesome' Shinbo disagreed to the use of vehicles that changed into robots when Evangeline McDowell stole Negi's bike, it appeared that the spin-off was quite successful in the beginning. This time around, they deal not with just Negi's father, Nagi, but with the Star Crystal. The Star Crystal was supposedly a fallen diamond from Lil Jon's crunk juice goblet, but, in actuality, is just a bit of cubic zirconium. No one ever finds out until someone dies…again… Afterward, the series plummeted down to one of the poorest deviations to hit the late-night block in Japan only because the direction has no sense of originality.
Live-Action Series[編集 | ソースを編集 ]
Apparently, Negima! got huge loving from Japan so they made it into a live-action series with entirely different plot line serving as a prime time soap opera. Negi is played by a cute 13-year-old girl, and Chamo is played by a piece of cardboard attached to a stick. This is because using a real ermine would be animal cruelty, and nobody realised that they could've just used CG animation. So they made it into a live-action series with entirely different plot line serving as a prime time soap opera.
The Game!?[編集 | ソースを編集 ]
Negima!, somewhat parallel to the likes of Rabu Hina, was quickly adapted into a GBA video game to boost Akamatsu Ken's DKP and for the sake of more money. Negima!? is not a dating sims game like you wish it were, but rather a role-playing game to the likes of Wikipedia, a computer game in which the player pretends to be an editor for an encyclopaedia written entirely by teenagers. In the Negima! game, you play with cards fight monsters to the death by playing card games with them. Needless to say, a sequal was released. And then they released DS games. And games for PS2. Another video game was released for the Wii, because Wii sounds sexual. The fighting game allows players to beat each other up or something. No Negima! video games were released outside of Japan, because life isn't fair.
Incomplete List of Characters[編集 | ソースを編集 ]
There were just too many characters for Uncyclopedians to write about all of them! Thirty-one slutty girls in a classroom with a ten year old boy… and not to mention a crack-smoking ermine!
Aisaka Sayo[編集 | ソースを編集 ]
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When she was alive she had black hair, but after she died she could no longer afford to buy hair dye like your mother does every week. Also, she has a ghostly tail instead of legs, which she lost when she messed with Texas (in a game of Texas Hold ’Em, actually. It’s a funny story. I should tell it to ya some time). Her skin lost colour when she developed Michael Jackson Syndrome, and her eyes are redder than when she was alive.
Akashi Yūna[編集 | ソースを編集 ]
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Her father, Professor Akashi, is actually a magical sensei like Negi, but he didn’t want Yūna to know about this. She ended up finding out the hard way.
Yūna: I’m… I’m a mage?
Yūna's Dad: I’m sorry. I needed to lie in order to protect you. It was for your own safety, Yūna.
Yūna: But… but Santa Claus said lying is bad!
Yūna's Dad: Actually, there's something I have to tell you about Santa Claus…
Asakura Kazumi[編集 | ソースを編集 ]
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Ayase Yue[編集 | ソースを編集 ]
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Though she is interested in studying philosophy and reading books, she hates studying. For this reason she may become a bartender when she grows up, given she has a talent for mixing drinks. One of her favourites is made from strawberry, banana, sugar, gasoline, milk, and ice. Sometimes, she puts stuff into Nodoka’s drinks late at night.
Izumi Ako[編集 | ソースを編集 ]
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Ōkōchi Akira[編集 | ソースを編集 ]
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Kakizaki Misa[編集 | ソースを編集 ]
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Kagurazaki Asuna[編集 | ソースを編集 ]
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Kagurazaka Asuna is the main heroine of the story. She is also Negi's roommate, but it's OK because she's not into kids. In fact, she's an oldaephile. Her eyes are different colours: one is blue, one is green and the other is brown.
She is immune to magic, but because this was not yet explained in the manga, in the anime writers took it upon themselves to make up a story to explain it. Ten years ago, Asuna's village of Oakvale was attacked by ruthless bandits. Everyone is killed, including women, children and emos. Asuna desperately makes a deal with a demon. He offers her powers for only $9.99 a month and her eternal soul with no interest for ten years. Figuring the demon needs the money more than she, Asuna accepts. She is an exact copy of Asuka Langley Soryu except without a brain!
Kasuga Misora[編集 | ソースを編集 ]
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Kasuga Misora is a nun in training. She made a pactio with a little girl nun in training, her artefact being a pair of Adidas that let her cheat when she runs track. Despite having the appearance of a friendly and benign lesbian nun, she is actually quite the prankster.
Some of her pranks include:
- setting a trap so that an eraser falls on her teacher when he walks into the classroom
- pretending to be the priest during confessions, so that she can make people pray rosaries a million times even though God gets really bored when he hears them
- putting condoms in people’s carts at Wal Mart
- putting fake blood on Chachamaru so that she freaks out and starts to scream before remembering she’s a robot and therefor can't bleed
- putting nude pictures of Wall-E and Gir in Chachamaru’s book bag so that Hakase thinks she’s looking at porn
Karakuri Chachamaru[編集 | ソースを編集 ]
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Chachamaru is an Android built by Rinshen Chao with help from Hakase Satomi and Bill Nye the Science Guy. Her hobbies include helping cute kittens, helping cute children and helping a cute, murderous vampire (though that one kinda counts as helping cute children too). She also likes to drink tea, because she has been programmed to mimic British behaviour.
She has high-powered weapon capabilities, rocket boosters, and a built-in cup holder designed to compete with these features which are also available on the iPhone 4, along with an MP3 player that lets Evangeline listen to Justin Bieber and The Jonas Brothers while she sucks the blood of innocent children.
Appearance-wise, she has two green antennas on her head. She also needs to be wound up every day, which is kinda stupid because even Wall-E can afford to have a solar panel and that guy lives in a dump. Literally.
Kugimiya Madoka[編集 | ソースを編集 ]
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Kǔu Fēi[編集 | ソースを編集 ]
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Konoe Konoka[編集 | ソースを編集 ]
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Saotome Haruna[編集 | ソースを編集 ]
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Sakurazaki Setsuna[編集 | ソースを編集 ]
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Sasaki Makie[編集 | ソースを編集 ]
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Shīna Sakurako[編集 | ソースを編集 ]
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Tatsumiya Mana[編集 | ソースを編集 ]
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Rinshen Chao[編集 | ソースを編集 ]
(Chinese:
Nagase Kaede[編集 | ソースを編集 ]
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Naba Chizuru[編集 | ソースを編集 ]
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Narutaki Fūka[編集 | ソースを編集 ]
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Narutaki Fumika[編集 | ソースを編集 ]
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Hakase Satomi[編集 | ソースを編集 ]
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Hasegawa Chisame[編集 | ソースを編集 ]
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However, her Pactio ability has the drawback of being near-useless when not connected to the internet for porn and attention whore, although her spirits can also navigate the magic worlds systems which might be electrically powered. Her spirits disappear when her laptop's batteries are low. Her Pactio has an additional ability which she often uses more, which allows her to transform into various Net-idol cosplay outfits. During the "Magical World" arc she takes Asuna's place as Negi's "Guardian" temporarily.
Evangline AK McDowell[編集 | ソースを編集 ]
She is a "high daylight walker" who was turned at the age of ten during the Hundred Years' War. After many years of struggle, hiding in the attic, and hardship, she eventually became known as one of the most feared mages in both worlds. After coming into contact with Nagi Springfield, she starts following him around out of love until he seals her within the Mahora Academy grounds, telling her to "live in the light for a change" and promising to free her upon masturbation. Evangeline McDowell turns into a vampire on a full moon. Evangeline specializes in ice-based spells and dark magic. Evangeline attempts to obtain Negi's blood and free herself from the curse, but as she cannot regularly access her power, she is eventually pwned.Her vampire abilities allow her to fly and give her extremely fast regeneration. She takes an interest in Negi afterward, and decides to not pursue him any longer. She takes him as a student sometime later, helping him improve his combat and magical abilities. She occasionally takes his blood as payment. During regular school activities, she is in the tea ceremony club out of enjoyment. Evangeline McDowell stole Negi's bike later on.
She is also a master of sock puppetry, and she is able to control hundreds of trolls at once, or use the ability on her opponents. She currently only uses one sentient doll, (Chachazero|チャチャゼロ), a very rude and violent being, though she cannot move without a large concentration camp of magic. Chachamaru is a servant to her. She refers to Evangeline as "master" and does anything she orders. While Chachazero is a sock puppet, Chachamaru is a robot, and requires no power from Evangeline. Instead, she plugs herself in.
Miyazaki Nodoka[編集 | ソースを編集 ]
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Murakami Natsumi[編集 | ソースを編集 ]
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She is a shy girl, who is an actress in the theatrical club. She feels that her body is underdeveloped, so she is constantly depressed and jealous of her more developed classmates. She bonds with Kotaro after he arrives at the school; and begins to develop slight jealousy of his interactions with other girls. She is accidentally brought to the Magic World, where she is forced to become an indentured servant. Although she is very embarrassed by the idea of kissing Kotaro to form the contract (due to the romantic implications and the age difference between herself and 10 year old Kotaro), she is convinced due to Kotaro's speech in which he states that he thinks of Natsumi and friends as the closest things to family he has and that he loves her. She succeeds in the formation of the Pactio and then suddenly tells Kotaro that she has feelings for him.
Yukihiro Ayaka[編集 | ソースを編集 ]
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Yotsuba Satsuki[編集 | ソースを編集 ]
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Zazie Rainyday[編集 | ソースを編集 ]
(ザジ・レイニーデイ|Zaji Reinīdei) Zazie Rainyday is an emo pirate and acrobat.
Negi Springfield[編集 | ソースを編集 ]
(ネギ・スプリングフィールド|Negi Supuringufīrudo) The protagonist of the story, Negi is an onion you can eat with yakitori. Yummy! A powerful mage, he specialises in sneezing magic. Like all mages at 10, he was assigned to train his magic by teaching people to speak English. His job at Mahora violates several child labour and sexual harassment laws.
Professor Akashi[編集 | ソースを編集 ]
Professor Akashi is the father of Yuna Akashi. He researches magical phenomenon whatsoever. His daughter is unaware of magic, so he keeps porn magazines in his office to distract his daughter from his magic related research papers. As of late, his being a Mage was revealed to Yūna, and furthermore, his late wife, Yūko, was revealed to be not just a mage herself, but a government (CIA) agent sent to Megalomesembira in an operation related to the current situation, which was also where and how she died.
Gandolfini[編集 | ソースを編集 ]
Gandorufiini is a dark-skinned mage, who uses both a smoking handgun and a badass knife in combat.
Sister Shakti[編集 | ソースを編集 ]
Sister Shakti is a mage teacher, who heads the Mahora nun patrol squad. She seems particularly skilled in Mortal Kombat and uses floating crosses in battle. Both Misora and Cocone are under her guidance at the church on Mahora's campus. Pretty naughty.
Nekane Springfield[編集 | ソースを編集 ]
Nekane is Negi's totally hot cousin whom Negi addresses as Onēchan, a more casual Japanese term for ‘MILF’. Nekane took on a maternal role during Negi's childhood, even sharing a bed with him. Asuna bears some physical resemblance to Nekane, which is why Negi sometimes sleeps inside her. Erm, I mean, beside her.
Six years ago, when demons attacked the village Negi and she used to live in, she was almost turned to stone makes you feel rock hard. It turned her legs into stone. She can now walk again, although it is not clear if she's using an illusion spell to have sexy legs or if it's just her sexy legging outfit.
Anna "Anya" Yurievna Cocolova[編集 | ソースを編集 ]
Anya is a childhood friend of Negi and a former schoolmate and (stalker) lover. Upon graduating, she is sent to work as a fortuneteller in London. She has a magically affinity to fire spells. She eventually goes to Japan to make Negi return to England, UK, forcibly seduce Negi and consummate her love to him. Not only has his contracts and has far surpassed her in magic. Though she is shocked to learn that he has already made Asuna K his girlfriend. She appears to have feelings for Negi. Later on in the series, Anya steals a dangerous artifact known as the "Star Crystal", which quickly consumes her due to her jealousy of Negi. She is eventually saved by Negi and his class, but as punishment, she joins Negi's class as student number 32.
Kamo[編集 | ソースを編集 ]
Kamomīru Arubēru is a is Negi's Digimon pet Pokemon, an ermine who enjoys buying cigars from Cuba and stealing lingerie. He has been close to Negi ever since he saved Chamo from a trap. Chamo often acts as Negi's so called, alleged trusty advisor in most things, though there are times his judgement is lacking resource. He is skillful at analyzing dangerous situations and coming up with counterstrike countermeasure when most of the others are in state of panic, though they are not always fully thought out. His level of magic is not as great as most of the mages shown in the series. Which is piss-poor. He also has the disturbing hobby of keeping track of the girls' feelings for Negi, often to the chagrin of all involved. In Negima?!, he takes over Negi's role as Asuna's punching bag as whenever he said something offensive about her, she will grap his head with him yelling out animal abuse in return. In the live-action adaptation, Chamo is depicted as an animated figure locked in a patch sewn on Negi's suit. He moved to Japan because he was accused of several crimes, all of which are perverted. He also cheated on Mario and Sonic at the Olympic games. And I'm not talking about the game for Wii. Chamo often mistaken as a dildo.