Main Page
From today's featured article
[The Teletubbies are eating their custard breakfast]
LAA-LAA: How many pounds of custard are we talkin' here?
DIPSY: We're talking, like... at least 500 pounds of custard in that vault.
TINKY WINKY: No shit? That's a whole lot of fuckin' custard. That would do wonders for our business, man.
PO: You guys remember that motherfucker, Noo-Noo? Little vacuum thing? Baby Sun told me he's already got information regarding the joint.
TINKY WINKY: Noo-Noo? We worked with him once and I nearly fuckin' died cause of it, remember? His goddamn battery started overheating and he almost exploded! How can we be sure he's reliable for a job as big as this?
Did you know...
- ... that tickle fights are a common occurrence in soccer? (Pictured)
- ... that Cup Stacking is a real sport? No, really.
- ... that applause was invented to mock the deaf?
- ... that if you die in Canada, you die in real life?
- ... that back in my day, we didn't have no fancy Did you know sections on our wikis? We had to get all of our factoids from the library, like decent folk! And after we walked there barefoot across three counties 'cause bicycles hadn't been invented yet, we had to teach ourselves how to read the books - none of that fancy free-contents education you kids're all on about...
- ... that cutting off your hands, nose, and head reduces the spread of germs by 100%?
- ... that in 2001 George W. Bush passed the No Child Left Behind Act, which forbids soldiers in Iraq from leaving their children behind?
- ... that individuals born under the sign of Gemini are often flammable and vulnerable to bear attacks?
In the news
- Ship captain who wrecked Baltimore bridge defeated by Upstate New York bridge (Pictured)
- NFL imposes speed limit and bans trick plays
- Forecast calls for a leapin' Lousy Smarch weather
- Larry David gets Hinkled by Anti-Israel Protesters
- Taylor Swift's favorite NFL team wins rigged Super Bowl, big whoop
- Elon Musk plants brain chip into first human guinea pig
- Climate activists ruin Jackson Pollock painting, no one notices
- Stalemate in Ukraine: Zelenskyy flees for greener pastures
- Steamboat Willie enters public domain, several Mickey Mouse horror films and games announced
- Santa's Elves on strike
- UnNews finally able to write obituaries for Shaft, Bull and Chandler
- Will Barbenheimer beat JigSaw in his own game?
Ongoing: Russian Invasion · ABBA
Recent deaths: Akira Toriyama · M. Emmet Walsh · Louis Gossett Jr. · Hype around the eclipse · O. J. Simpson
Upcoming deaths: Kris Kristofferson · Jimmy Carter · Vladimir Putin · The U.S. Federal Budget · Richard Simmons · Kate Middleton · Market demand for White Broncos · God's curse on the Buffalo Bills (..maybe)
On this day
April 26: Hyperbole Day!
- 1764 - Hyperbole day founded in the most spectacular ceremony since the dawn of time.
- 1834 - The best day in all of history! There'll never ever be another day like it! It's amazing! Not like I'd tell you, though.
- 1901 - President Teddy Roosevelt mounts his wife: BULLY!
- 1965 - The mildest day in the history of the universe. No other day was as mild. Ever. Aside from the racism.
- 1983 - The worst day in the history of the universe, God himself mourns. (Pictured)
- 1986 - Ronald Reagan stays awake for an entire cabinet meeting! Good job, Mr. President! Let the void take you!
- 2016 - The best night I've ever had. Ever! It felt so good! Say goodbye to cats!
Picture of the day
Islamic extremists are unsure how to react to this sketch of what may or may not be the back of Mohammad's head. Image credit: Modusoperandi |
Other areas of Uncyclopedia
- How to be funny and not just stupid – for help with that comedy thing
- Policies and guidelines – for the boring rules no one follows
- Formatting – for help on editing
- Requested articles – for inspiration, or lack thereof
- Village Dump – to throw angry invectives at other users
- Community portal – for general community shenanigans
Sister projects
-
UnNews
News on crack -
Uncyclopedia
The content-free encyclopedia -
Undictionary
Best left unsaid -
UnTunes
Noisy things -
UnGames
Ways to waste away -
HowTo
Like Ikea without the pictures -
UnBooks
Content-free books -
Unquotable
Useless misquotes -
Uncycloversity
No student loans -
UnPoetia
Dreams deferred -
UnDebate
Debate the irrelevant -
UnScripts
We ruin stage too -
Why?
Because -
UnReviews
Hack frauds -
UnVoyage
Armchair travel -
Uncyclomedia
The Foundation
Uncyclopedia languages
This Uncyclopedia is written in English, supposedly. Started in 2005, it currently contains 37,645 articles. Many other parody wikis are available; some of the lamest are listed below.
- More than 10,000 articles: Português · Boarisch ·
日本語 · Polski · Plattdüütsch · Italiano · Español · Français - More than 1,000 articles: Suomi · Dansk · Deutsch · 한국어 ·
正體 中 文 · 汉语 · Русский · Norsk (Bokmål) · Bahasa Indonesia · Česky · ไทย · Esperanto · Ελληνικά · Nederlands · Galego · עברית · Svenska · Slovenčina · Magyar · Українська - More than 100 articles: فارسی · عَرَبِيّ · Türkçe · Català · Norsk (Nynorsk) · Српски / Srpski · Hrvatski · Lietuvių · Latina · Tagalog · Български · Simple English · Latviešu · Mirandés · Македонски · Română · Cymraeg