「Caillou」の版 間 の差分
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| + | |''This article could be expanded using translated text from '''[https://desciclopedia.org/wiki/Caillou the Portuguese version].''' So if any of you are massive soccer fanatics and like your weather to be hot as fucking hell, you could really help us out!'' |
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[[File:Kaijou.jpg|thumb|319x319px|EACH DAY, HE GREW SOME MORE...<br>'''''KAIJOU''', Coming to Theaters 2024!'']]{{Q|My little angel could do no wrong!|Caillou's mom on Caillou}}{{Q|*clenches fists**fake smiles* You're ''SO'' right. I ''TOTALLY'' agree. He's never done ''ANYTHING'' wrong in his life.|[[Everyone else]] on Caillou}} |
[[File:Kaijou.jpg|thumb|319x319px|EACH DAY, HE GREW SOME MORE...<br>'''''KAIJOU''', Coming to Theaters 2024!'']]{{Q|My little angel could do no wrong!|Caillou's mom on Caillou}}{{Q|*clenches fists**fake smiles* You're ''SO'' right. I ''TOTALLY'' agree. He's never done ''ANYTHING'' wrong in his life.|[[Everyone else]] on Caillou}} |
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{{Q|His mom's a whore and his dad's a drunkard.|The 2009 [[Uncyclopedia]] article on Caillou}} |
{{Q|His mom's a whore and his dad's a drunkard.|The 2009 [[Uncyclopedia]] article on Caillou}} |
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2024年 5月 14日 (火) 03:26時点 における版
| This article could be expanded using translated text from the Portuguese version. So if any of you are massive soccer fanatics and like your weather to be hot as fucking hell, you could really help us out! |
“My little angel could do no wrong!”
“*clenches fists**fake smiles* You're SO right. I TOTALLY agree. He's never done ANYTHING wrong in his life.”
“His mom's a whore and his dad's a drunkard.”
Caillou La-Petite-Merde is a little ball of wrath with cancer released by some assholes from Quebec unto children all over the world. He is directly responsible for ruining an entire generation of four-year-olds.
Caillou is the star of a PBS Kids cartoon of the same name, in which he likes to explore, but his exploring is even wimpier than Dora's. Caillou's idea of "exploring" seems to consist of:
- Crying
- Complaining
- Harassing his pet cat.
- Refusing to take responsiblity for his own actions
- Making a big fuss at his preschool.
Caillou will likely never mature past the age of four, not just because of TV's famous anti-aging trope, but also due to his complete inability to learn mistakes. And if this is the kind of role model we are giving our kids, no wonder why the cheeto-dust-and-iPad generation is a thing. This kid, if he ever grows up, will probably just end up becoming a fucking manchild, essentially another Chris Chan.
Caillou has become notorious for his numerous parody videos on GoAnimate, many of which are even worse than the PBS show, if that's even possible.
Characters
Caillou
A spoiled brat with a bowling ball for a head. Certainly as cancerous as his show, and quite possibly autistic as well. In the show's theme song, it claims that "each day [he grows] some more", although he has not aged a day, grown in size, or learned a lesson since 1997.
Rosie
Caillou's little sister who is only slightly more mature than Caillou. Constantly has to put up with all of Caillou's shit.
Boris
Caillou's mother, who constantly absolves her sweet little gremlin of all the punishment he deserves (That fucker should be sold into child slavery and have his bare ass whipped daily, to be honest.) Possibly trying to train Caillou to be a serial killer, but doing a horrible job of it. Damn kids won't listen to authority!
Doris
Caillou's dad, who actually takes him out to do shit. The two go on boats and ride snowmachines and shit together, and Caillou plays with it surprisingly well. But when things don't go Caillou's way, that's when shit get ugly.
Gilbert
Gilbert is a cat, and that might as well be it. Gilbert has a blue eyepatch bruise on his eye and constantly runs from Caillou, to Caillou's great confusion. I don't know, but it seems fairly obvious that Caillou has done some serious shit to Gilbert in the past. That cat looks like a fucking dog!
Clementine
The first friend that Caillou ever had, and quite possibly his only real friend. I mean, you'd have to be REALLY fucking desperate to befriend that fucking son-of-a-bitch. Were all the good guys taken? Or what?
Leo
An angry Jewish kid who rightfully bullied Caillou early on, but was then seemingly hypnotized into actually liking this shit-tier excuse for a kid.
Mr. Hinkler
He is likely to get some sick or go to a gay retared place.
Rexy
A plastic dinosaur that Caillou keeps as a toy. Going along with the quite-accurate stereotypes about delusional, retarded toddlers, Caillou believes Rexy is alive. However, if Rexy really was alive, he would probably wish he wasn't. Just think about Sid, that evil toy-abusing kid from Toy Story, and you have a good idea of how Caillou treats Rexy.
