Asbestos

“I knew him when he was just a little mineral, you know.”

~ God on Asbestos

“MMM... Asbestos.”

~ Homer Simpson on Asbestos

“Asbestos one of the most important discoveries of all time, for a start it kills hippies”

~ Oscar Wilde on Asbestos

Asbestos, is a mineral that is vital to the functioning of all living things, some idiots with long hair and dirty fingernails claim that asbestos destroys the enviroment, well, it turns out that the jokes on them, those who say that asbestos is lethal die from cancer three months later. in 1801 A.G Woodbine and sons asbestos distributers Ltd. discovered that asbestos can be made into a fibre and can be used as insulation and as a packaging material for Frozen Jubblies, Asbestos was added to the first Cigarettes made by A.G Woodbines son, Frank Arthur Gary Woodbine to improve the flavour and induce life-preserving properties. Asbestos is often dubbed The Wonder Material due to it's many and varied applications, it has made Celing tiles, Cigarettes, Insulation, Soft Toys, Milk Cartons, Nice Curtains, Cheap Wallpaper, Cars, PVA glue, Zippo Lighters, Black Pudding, Inductrial accidents, Televisions, Bovril, The Encyclopaedia Britannica, Kilts, Bagpipes, Air wick Plug-ins, Vacuum Cleaners, Electricity, Longevity and Dead Hippies a reality, so THREE CHEERS FOR ASBESTOS!