「HowTo:Change a Spare Tire」の版 間 の差分
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2007
imported>Starflame |
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| − | {{Q|Spare |
+ | {{Q|Spare Tyre Changing? I thought this was about sparing lives...|Oscar Wilde|[[Spare Tyre Changing]]}} |
{{HowTo}} |
{{HowTo}} |
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| − | <b>Spare |
+ | <b>Spare Tyre Changing</b> can be a fun and/or pain in the ass thing to do, but what it really is is the art of changing tyres, switching from one tyre to another, whether the first tyre is used, or not used, it's something to do sparingly. [[Men]] and [[Women]] can change a tyre! it's easy as 1-2-3, or at least, some would like to think that anyway... When you learn the art of Sparetyrechangery, then it's all good in the [[hood]]. |
== Required Equipment == |
== Required Equipment == |
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| − | You will need the following before you attempt Spare |
+ | You will need the following before you attempt Spare Tyre Changing... |
{{tip|right|If you're already crazy, as in you're a crazy person, Natural Craziness won't be needed, because your already insane!}} |
{{tip|right|If you're already crazy, as in you're a crazy person, Natural Craziness won't be needed, because your already insane!}} |
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| − | * An old |
+ | * An old tyre |
| − | * A new |
+ | * A new tyre |
* A helmet |
* A helmet |
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* A machete |
* A machete |
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22 |
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* A internet connection |
* A internet connection |
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| − | == |
+ | == Tyre Removal == |
| − | Did you get all that? Are you ready to learn how to change |
+ | Did you get all that? Are you ready to learn how to change tyres? Fantastic. Now, here are some ways you can remove that god damn son-of-a-bitch tyre that just won't come off your car. |
{{tip|right|To make things more amusing, engage in [[kitten huffing]], although, this comes with the consequence of not remembering what you did to change the tire in the first place.}} |
{{tip|right|To make things more amusing, engage in [[kitten huffing]], although, this comes with the consequence of not remembering what you did to change the tire in the first place.}} |
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# Repeat step 3 until the old tire just falls right off. |
# Repeat step 3 until the old tire just falls right off. |
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| − | ===Burn The Old |
+ | ===Burn The Old Tyre=== |
[[Image:Burning_tires.jpg|thumb|right|An example of Tire Burning]] |
[[Image:Burning_tires.jpg|thumb|right|An example of Tire Burning]] |
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# Bring out the Natural Craziness |
# Bring out the Natural Craziness |
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56 |
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# Proceed to <b>Burn The Old Tire</b> |
# Proceed to <b>Burn The Old Tire</b> |
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| − | == Screwing On The New |
+ | == Screwing On The New Tyre == |
Now that you've gotten rid of the old tire, and put it out of its misery, sent it to hell, yadda yadda. Now we can go about putting in that new tire. |
Now that you've gotten rid of the old tire, and put it out of its misery, sent it to hell, yadda yadda. Now we can go about putting in that new tire. |
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| − | # Find your new |
+ | # Find your new tyre |
# Go out on the street and look for a guy named Jack |
# Go out on the street and look for a guy named Jack |
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# Have Jack jack up the car to a height that works for you, to work with |
# Have Jack jack up the car to a height that works for you, to work with |
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2007年 6月 21日 (木) 13:43時点 における版
“Spare Tyre Changing? I thought this was about sparing lives...”
Spare Tyre Changing can be a fun and/or pain in the ass thing to do, but what it really is is the art of changing tyres, switching from one tyre to another, whether the first tyre is used, or not used, it's something to do sparingly. Men and Women can change a tyre! it's easy as 1-2-3, or at least, some would like to think that anyway... When you learn the art of Sparetyrechangery, then it's all good in the hood.
Required Equipment
You will need the following before you attempt Spare Tyre Changing...
- An old tyre
- A new tyre
- A helmet
- A machete
- A guy named Jack
- A blowtorch
- A gasoline canister
- A lighter (A book of matches could work too)
- A machine gun
- Rubber gloves
- Natural craziness
- A brain (Optional)
- A computer to show this page
- A internet connection
Tyre Removal
Did you get all that? Are you ready to learn how to change tyres? Fantastic. Now, here are some ways you can remove that god damn son-of-a-bitch tyre that just won't come off your car.
Take Everything Apart
- Bring out the Natural Craziness
- Repeat step one until you feel like doing something extremely crazy.
- Take everything apart surrounding the old tire, and if you have trouble, feel free to break out that Machine gun, and just shoot constantly until that old tire is the only thing left
- Now proceed to screwing the new tire on.
Scream Obscenities
- Bring out the Natural Craziness
- Repeat step one until you feel like doing something extremely crazy
- Loom over your old tire, and scream all the obscenities you can at the thing, no matter how nasty, rascist, etc. they are.
- Repeat step 3 until the old tire just falls right off.
Burn The Old Tyre
File:Burning tires.jpg
An example of Tire Burning
- Bring out the Natural Craziness
- Repeat step one until you feel like doing something extremely crazy.
- Proceed to Take Everything Apart
- After you've done that, take the old tire, and bring it to a place far away from the car site, then bring your gasoline canister.
- Douse the tire you took apart from the car with about 5 gallons of gasoline.
- Now take a Lighter (Or Matchbook) and throw your lit lighter (Or match), into the gasoline-doused tire
- Run like hell
- Watch the giant fire rise, and enjoy the smell of burning rubber (Literally)
Blowtorch It
- Bring out the Natural Craziness
- Repeat step one until you feel like doing something extremely crazy
- Get your rubber gloves and the blowtorch
- Carve the tire off the car
- Proceed to Burn The Old Tire
Screwing On The New Tyre
Now that you've gotten rid of the old tire, and put it out of its misery, sent it to hell, yadda yadda. Now we can go about putting in that new tire.
- Find your new tyre
- Go out on the street and look for a guy named Jack
- Have Jack jack up the car to a height that works for you, to work with
- Now get the new tire and give it to Jack
- Tell Jack to screw the tire into the car
- Now that the new tire is in your car, tell Jack to jack down, putting the car back on the ground
- Tell Jack to go home
- Celebrate your triumph of finally putting in that damned tire, and sending its older counterpart to it's maker
Congratulations
Way to go, you have successfully learned how to get rid of an old tire, and put on a new tire. See, the art of Spare Tire Changing isn't so bad, and it can be fun and humorous too, and makes a great story to tell your friends later, especially if you did it in an interesting manner.