Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/August 2

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August 2: Intentionally Give A Stranger Misleading Directions Day

• 1452 - Illegal Aliens try to invade Mars to steal jobs from the people there. They meant to get to Earth, but luckily Jupiter gave them misleading directions.
• 1492 - During Christopher Columbus's expedition, a young Carib native helps the lookout on the lead ship- into a reef.
• 1493 - Christopher Columbus comes back and burns that little snot's village and builds La Navidad on top of it.
• 1602 - Aliens try to invade Europe, but return home to regroup after Indians give them false directions and the aliens wind up at the South Pole.
• 1922 - Allen Zeitgeist asks for directions to New York from Boston. Told to "turn left where the large tree used to be" the series of events that followed causes the stock mareket crash and the great depression.
• 1939 - Tomasz Wankovszki, a Ukrainian farmer, accidentally starts World War 2 by sending the German army into Poland, telling them that it is actually "A shortcut to Czechoslovakia."
• 1941 - Tomasz Wankovszki narrowly escapes angry German troops, disguising himself as a janitor and pointing "that-a-way."
• 1952 - 19 kittens are simultaneously fired from three cannons in Quebec. This day has since become known as Three-Bean Salad Day in all countries except North Korea.
• 1956 - You can't get there from here.
• 1993 - Something happens in Atlanta, Georgia. What exactly happened has been unknown to this point.
• 2002 - Aliens invade Earth but are defeated and forced to retreat a few days later when their secret weakness is discovered. Mel Gibson and Joaquin Phoenix are named Time Persons of the Year for the discovery.
• 2007 - Nobody asks you for directions. You feel sad.
• 2008 - I will win the war
• 2011 - The Americans drop a nuke on the whitehouse after being given false directions by a terrorist on where their hideout is.