「MDMA」の版 間 の差分
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+ | [[File:Ecstasy-brain.jpg|right|thumb|250px|As if all the other positive effects weren't enough, Ecstasy also reduces brain activity.]] |
+ | {{wikipedia}} |
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{{Q|This is the best thing I have ever touched! NO. Wait. '''This''' is the best thing I have ever touched.|MDMA user handling two identical rocks.}} |
{{Q|This is the best thing I have ever touched! NO. Wait. '''This''' is the best thing I have ever touched.|MDMA user handling two identical rocks.}} |
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{{Q|I'm sorry, I just can't sustain my erection.|Male MDMA user experiencing pilly willy.}} |
{{Q|I'm sorry, I just can't sustain my erection.|Male MDMA user experiencing pilly willy.}} |
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− | '''MDMA''' |
+ | '''MDMA''' ('''3,4-MMMMM...DMA!!!''')<ref>Also Known As: Methylenedioxymethamphetamine, Ecstasy, Pills, Disco crackers, Adam, Beans, E, XTC, ''Laser'', Boogy Woogy, 'Thizz', Molly, MaD MAn, Silly billy, Gurners, 'The shit', MDMAmazing, and Mondays Don't Matter Anyway.</ref> is quite possibly the perfect drug in terms of euphorically happy to cost-effective to non-addictive to doesn't-fuck-you-up-much ratio. |
''Funny Fact'' = All of the chemical elements necessary to make MDMA can be found in trace amounts in the air we breath, and due to the occasional chance chemical reaction, it just so happens that one molecule for every 25 trillion you breath in may well be pure Ecstasy! Thus, if you cycle the entirety of Earth's atmosphere through your lungs thirty-two thousand times in a single day, you will quite possibly have managed to consume an entire gram of MDMA! And to think you were going to buy it! |
''Funny Fact'' = All of the chemical elements necessary to make MDMA can be found in trace amounts in the air we breath, and due to the occasional chance chemical reaction, it just so happens that one molecule for every 25 trillion you breath in may well be pure Ecstasy! Thus, if you cycle the entirety of Earth's atmosphere through your lungs thirty-two thousand times in a single day, you will quite possibly have managed to consume an entire gram of MDMA! And to think you were going to buy it! |
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+ | ==Origins & Timeline== |
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− | =Also Known As= |
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− | Methylenedioxymethamphetamine |
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− | Ecstasy |
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− | Pills |
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− | Adam |
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− | Beans |
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− | E |
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− | XTC |
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− | ''Laser'' |
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− | Boogy Woogy |
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− | 'Thizz' |
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− | =Origins & Timeline= |
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MDMA is an odd substance in that it tends to crop up in the strangest of places, from the jungles of ancient Pangea to the thin coating of condensation on the bathroom windows of electronic music producers. what follows is a description of man's first encounters with this strange and mystical chemical. |
MDMA is an odd substance in that it tends to crop up in the strangest of places, from the jungles of ancient Pangea to the thin coating of condensation on the bathroom windows of electronic music producers. what follows is a description of man's first encounters with this strange and mystical chemical. |
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− | ==Before Time== |
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+ | ===Before Time=== |
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− | [[Image:Unicorn.png|right|thumb|250px|In this image we can clearly see the MDMA dust falling off the sides of the unicorn.]] |
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+ | [[File:Unicorn.png|right|thumb|250px|In this image we can clearly see the MDMA dust falling off the sides of the unicorn. Sparkle glands increase their synthesis of MDMA exponentially depending on the mood within the atmosphere of their current location.]] |
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− | Before scientists learned to synthesize MDMA in large quantities, and in its first recorded appearance anywhere, it could be found in the wilds of [[Narnia]] where it was excreted from the sparkle glands on all the happiest species of [[unicorn]]. It was gathered by the ancient tribal method of stimulating the unicorn's glands with a smooth, circular rubbing motion. The [[dust]] that fell off was then collected into small pouches made from the dried [[marijuana|resin]] of the ancient Bag tree (known as 'baggies'), which were then sent to [[clubbing|clubs]] all across the western world on the backs of donkeys which were later dubbed 'drug mules'. |
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+ | Before scientists learned to synthesize MDMA in large quantities, and in its first recorded appearance anywhere, it could be found in the wilds of [[Narnia]] where it was excreted from the sparkle glands on all the happiest species of [[unicorn]]. It was gathered by the ancient tribal method of stimulating the unicorn's glands with a smooth, circular rubbing motion, which exudes calm. The [[dust]] that fell off was then collected into small pouches made from the dried [[marijuana|resin]] of the ancient Bag tree (known as 'baggies'). These 'baggies' were then carried through 'Ward-er-Robe', an isolated outpost in Jamaica, and were then sent to [[clubbing|clubs]] all across the western world on the backs of donkeys which were later dubbed 'drug mules'. |
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− | ---- |
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− | ==478 BC== |
+ | ===478 BC=== |
− | Greek blacksmith [[Socrates]] discovered that the residue left on the sides of his furnace after making swords out of nymph-steel made everything seem brighter if taken orally. He would host ''''τρελλά συμβαλλόμενα μέρη'''', or ''''mad parties''''. At these [[parties]] he made good friends with a young man named ''[[Plato]]'', to whom he spent hours talking ''''πραγματικά δροσίστε'''', or ''''really cool shit''''. Plato later made notes of his conversations with Socrates, and these became the foundations for all western [[Philosophy]]. |
+ | Greek blacksmith [[Socrates]] discovered that the residue left on the sides of his furnace after making swords out of nymph-steel made everything seem brighter if taken orally. He would host ''''τρελλά συμβαλλόμενα μέρη'''', or ''''mad parties''''. At these [[parties]] he made good friends with a young man named ''[[Plato]]'', to whom he spent hours talking about ''''πραγματικά δροσίστε'''', or ''''really cool shit''''. Plato later made notes of his conversations with Socrates, and these became the foundations for all western [[Philosophy]]. |
+ | [[File:School athens.jpg|thumb|center|800px|One of Socrates '''mad parties'''. He would often lace the [[wine]] at these parties with what he called 'nymph-dust' (which later turned out to be MDMA), and all of the guests would spend countless hours inspecting all of the strange surfaces of Socrates' Crib, admiring the 'REALLY HIGH ceiling' , 'funky runes' , and '''smooth skin''.'']] |
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− | [[Image:School athens.jpg|center|800px]] |
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+ | ===214 BC=== |
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− | ''(Above) One of Socrates '''mad parties'''. He would often lace the [[wine]] at these parties with what he called 'nymph-dust' (which later turned out to be MDMA), and all of the guests would spend countless hours inspecting all of the strange surfaces of Socrates Crib, admiring the 'way high ceiling' and 'funky runes'. |
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+ | [[File:Japanese quail.jpg|right|thumb|200px|The tears of the Japanese quail can get you super high.]] |
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− | '' |
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+ | Ying Zheng (嬴政), the king of the Qin Empire in ancient China, discovered that he could produce a white, crystalline substance by distilling it from the tears of the Japanese Quail (pictured right). After finding that the substance created extreme euphoria and togetherness in his servants and mistresses, he ordered for it to be produced en masse under the trade name 'Qrazy Quail' (pronounced Kwaa-zee Kway-el). Qrazy Quail was then distributed to the leaders of the six great Chinese Empires; Wei, Qi, Qin, Han, Zhao and Jin, and lead ultimately to the reunification of ancient China under the Qin empire. |
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+ | At roughly the same time in Macedonia, a member of King Philip V's court invented a grammatical tool which he named 'filler', which he used to make two separate rolls of parchment the same length so that they would appear visually pleasing. He would soon monopolize the MDMA trade within the Macedonian empire by combining half as much MDMA than his competitors with 'filler' OR 'whatever-the-fuck-was-under-my-sink'. This led to his eventual death, when the rest decided he was 'cramping their collective styles'. |
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− | ==214 BC== |
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− | [[Image:Japanese quail.jpg|right|thumb|200px|The tears of the Japanese quail can get you super high.]] |
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− | Ying Zheng (嬴政), the king of the Qin Empire in ancient China, discovered that he could produce a white, crystalline substance by distilling it from the tears of the Japanese Quail (pictured right). After finding that the substance created extreme euphoria and togetherness in his servants and mistresses, he ordered for it to be produced en masse under the trade name 'Qrazy Quail'. Qrazy Quail was then distributed to the leaders of the six great Chinese Empires; Wei, Qi, Qin, Han, Zhao and Jin, and lead ultimately to the reunification of ancient China under the Qin empire. |
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+ | ===1 BC=== |
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− | At roughly the same time in Macedonia, a member of King Philip V's court invented a grammatical tool which he named 'filler', which he used to make two separate rolls of parchment the same length so that they would appear visually pleasing. |
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− | ---- |
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+ | [[File:Babymdma.png|left|thumb|300px|The profuse amounts of MDMA in baby Jesus' body produced a faint glow.]] |
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− | ==1 BC== |
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− | [[Image:Babymdma.png|left|thumb|300px|The profuse amounts of MDMA in baby Jesus' body produced a faint glow.]] |
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A young couple named Joseph and Mary found a large quantity of the drug in their professions as shoe-shiners to the men and women of Bethlehem, under the soles of [[ginger]] people's shoes. They found out the substance was psychotropic when Joseph 'accidentally' licked the [[feet]] of one of his flame-headed customers, and continued to strip off all of his clothes in the middle of Bethlehem square. The couple went on to harvest the near-pure MDMA from the ginger people's [[shoes]], and would spend nights at a time off their tits on copious amounts of what they called 'Ginger Rapture'. |
A young couple named Joseph and Mary found a large quantity of the drug in their professions as shoe-shiners to the men and women of Bethlehem, under the soles of [[ginger]] people's shoes. They found out the substance was psychotropic when Joseph 'accidentally' licked the [[feet]] of one of his flame-headed customers, and continued to strip off all of his clothes in the middle of Bethlehem square. The couple went on to harvest the near-pure MDMA from the ginger people's [[shoes]], and would spend nights at a time off their tits on copious amounts of what they called 'Ginger Rapture'. |
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To remedy the problem, Joseph decided to abstain from taking the substance for one night, and let Mary take his lot as well as her own. Mary went totally crazy, and demanded that Joseph had [[sex]] with her right there and then. Though Joseph was a good [[Jewish]] man, and the couple were not technically married, he wanted some of that pussy so badly that he thought, ''fuck it, you only live once'', and decided to give the wide-eyed Mary what she wanted. |
To remedy the problem, Joseph decided to abstain from taking the substance for one night, and let Mary take his lot as well as her own. Mary went totally crazy, and demanded that Joseph had [[sex]] with her right there and then. Though Joseph was a good [[Jewish]] man, and the couple were not technically married, he wanted some of that pussy so badly that he thought, ''fuck it, you only live once'', and decided to give the wide-eyed Mary what she wanted. |
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− | Later, to avoid disgrace, the couple claimed that the resulting [[pregnancy]] was an [[virgin|immaculate conception]], a claim which was backed up by the fact that the baby seemed to be endowed with miraculous powers. Mary and Joseph called this baby Jesus, and it went on to be hailed as the Son of God |
+ | Later, to avoid disgrace, the couple claimed that the resulting [[pregnancy]] was an [[virgin|immaculate conception]], a claim which was backed up by the fact that the baby seemed to be endowed with miraculous powers. Mary and Joseph called this baby Jesus, and it went on to be hailed as the Son of God and saviour of man by numerous individuals. |
− | ---- |
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− | ==1 AD to c. 1450 AD== |
+ | ===1 AD to c. 1450 AD=== |
+ | MDMA remained elusive to humankind for most of the first [[millennium]], with only a few recorded appearances after it was discovered by Mary and Joseph in 1 BC. The first truly notable occurrence, and also the first time that MDMA came into the eyes of the general public, was when it was mass produced by a ring of underground alchemists in [[Britain]] and [[Europe]] as a cure for the [[black death|Bubonic Plague]]. As it became clear that the substance did far more than cure sufferers of their symptoms, consumption of the drug skyrocketed and plunged the world into what has now become known as The Dark Ages. |
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+ | ===1900 AD=== |
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− | MDMA remained elusive to humankind for most of the first millennium, with only a few recorded appearances after it was discovered by Mary and Joseph in 1 BC. The first truly notable occurrence, and also the first time that MDMA came into the eyes of the general public, was when it was mass produced by a ring of underground alchemists in [[Britain]] and [[Europe]] as a cure for the [[black death|Bubonic Plague]]. As it became clear that the substance did far more than cure sufferers of their symptoms, consumption of the drug skyrocketed and plunged the world into what has now become known as The Dark Ages. |
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+ | Everyone woke up on the morning of January 1st 1900 feeling like they'd spent the last five hundred years with a sponge in their mouth. There wasn't a set of jaws in five thousand miles of [[Rome]] that didn't feel like it had just been chewing through a few meters of wood. Everyone decided it would be a good idea to drink some [[water]] and try to repair the damage they'd done to society during the next few centuries. |
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− | ==1900 AD== |
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− | Everyone woke up on the morning of January 1st 1900 feeling like they'd spent the last five hundred years with a [[spongebob|sponge]] in their mouth. There wasn't a set of jaws in five thousand miles of [[Rome]] that didn't feel like it had just been chewing through a few meters of wood. Everyone decided it would be a good idea to drink some [[water]] and try to repair the damage they'd done to society during the next few centuries. |
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− | ==1957 AD== |
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+ | ===1957 AD=== |
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Whilst working for an upstart pharmaceutical company, [[German]] chemist Anton Köllisch decided that the party wasn't over, and synthesized MDMA in his lab in Darmstadt. Along with his associates Alexander Shulgin and David Nichols, he then went on to introduce MDMA to the modern world under its current and chemically accurate name. The drug became popular in night clubs all over the world, where users reported increased levels of self esteem coinciding with increased levels of flaccidity. |
Whilst working for an upstart pharmaceutical company, [[German]] chemist Anton Köllisch decided that the party wasn't over, and synthesized MDMA in his lab in Darmstadt. Along with his associates Alexander Shulgin and David Nichols, he then went on to introduce MDMA to the modern world under its current and chemically accurate name. The drug became popular in night clubs all over the world, where users reported increased levels of self esteem coinciding with increased levels of flaccidity. |
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− | =Effects & Uses= |
+ | ==Effects & Uses== |
− | ==Professional Use== |
+ | ===Professional Use=== |
− | [[ |
+ | [[File:Balloon-tank.jpg|thumb|right|430px|A tank design resulting from a period in military history when the engineers were administered with small doses of MDMA before work. Note the machine gun made out of smaller balloons. The LTX-30 (Latex able to withstand 30psi) was never used in active combat, though it remains a general eyesore at Fort Meade, and was deemed to not be armoured sufficiently enough "to stop a hypodermic needle". It should be pointed out that at the same time the engineers were being dosed with MDMA, heroin was the preferred painkiller for wounded soldiers.]] |
− | '''Military''' |
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+ | ====Military==== |
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For a short time, MDMA was tested by the [[army|military]] to see if it would have any positive effects in the heat of battle. Unfortunately, every soldier administered with even a threshold amount of the drug immediately retreated to their private barracks to partake in an action which was euphemistically referred to as 'pinching themselves'. |
For a short time, MDMA was tested by the [[army|military]] to see if it would have any positive effects in the heat of battle. Unfortunately, every soldier administered with even a threshold amount of the drug immediately retreated to their private barracks to partake in an action which was euphemistically referred to as 'pinching themselves'. |
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− | + | ====Psychological==== |
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+ | Psychoanalysts then saw the value behind the relaxation effects of MDMA, and also noticed that its users had decreased levels of [[emo|emotional withdrawal]]. Unfortunately, a number of patients filed [[rape|sexual harassment]] charges, claiming that the psychoanalysts had brainwashed them into openly performing an action which they euphemistically referred to as 'pinching themselves'. |
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− | Psychoanalysts then saw the value behind the relaxation effects of MDMA, and also noticed that its users had decreased levels of [[emo|emotional withdrawal]]. Unfortunately, a number of patients filed [[rape|sexual harassment]] charges, claiming that the psychoanalysts had brainwashed them into openly performing an action which was euphemistically referred to as 'pinching themselves'. |
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==Pros and Cons of MDMA== |
==Pros and Cons of MDMA== |
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+ | ;Pros |
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− | '''Pros''' |
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*Body rushes, described as a feeling of increased energy and intellectual clarity. |
*Body rushes, described as a feeling of increased energy and intellectual clarity. |
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*Dilated pupils, making [[color]]s seem brighter. |
*Dilated pupils, making [[color]]s seem brighter. |
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*Increased feeling of well being and content. |
*Increased feeling of well being and content. |
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*Increased appreciation of [[laser]]s and smooth surfaces. |
*Increased appreciation of [[laser]]s and smooth surfaces. |
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*If taken during pregnancy, can cause miraculous powers in the user's offspring. |
*If taken during pregnancy, can cause miraculous powers in the user's offspring. |
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*Can unite fractured oriental nations after years of [[war]]. |
*Can unite fractured oriental nations after years of [[war]]. |
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*Responsible for the birth of Western Philosophy. |
*Responsible for the birth of Western Philosophy. |
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+ | *Makes water taste/look/smell/feel/sound like wine. |
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− | + | ;Cons |
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*Users report feelings of paranoia if taken in excessive quantities. |
*Users report feelings of paranoia if taken in excessive quantities. |
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*Can cause users to chew their teeth together, which can be detrimental to the user's oral health and make them look like a bit of a tit. Known as 'Gurning'. |
*Can cause users to chew their teeth together, which can be detrimental to the user's oral health and make them look like a bit of a tit. Known as 'Gurning'. |
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*Can throw civilizations into years of intellectual darkness. |
*Can throw civilizations into years of intellectual darkness. |
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*Users suffer dehydration. |
*Users suffer dehydration. |
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*PILLY. WILLY. |
*PILLY. WILLY. |
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+ | *Males might not know if they climax, medically known as [["pseudonutting"]] |
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+ | *Objects appear more edible than they actually are. |
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− | =So Where Can I Get Some?= |
+ | ==So Where Can I Get Some?== |
+ | [[File:Ecsasty!.jpg|thumb|200px|For just a few dollars, this could be you!]] |
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− | Well, if you ever drop by London you could always give me a call on |
+ | Well, if you ever drop by London you could always give me a call on 0771839499?, and I could set you up with some. Notice that the last number's a question mark, so you have to be extra committed and try all the combinations if you really want to get through to me. That way I'll know you're not a murderer or a cop, because why would they bother? |
If you can't be bothered with all that, then I suggest you type 'MDMA synthesis' into [[Google]], and start gathering the necessary ingredients. You'll want to start soon, cause believe me, there are many. There's also a rather large [[prison]] sentence waiting for you if you get caught, but also a rather large pile of pure MDMA if you don't! |
If you can't be bothered with all that, then I suggest you type 'MDMA synthesis' into [[Google]], and start gathering the necessary ingredients. You'll want to start soon, cause believe me, there are many. There's also a rather large [[prison]] sentence waiting for you if you get caught, but also a rather large pile of pure MDMA if you don't! |
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If the above two options don't appeal to you, you have a few other choices: |
If the above two options don't appeal to you, you have a few other choices: |
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− | [[Image:Ecsasty!.jpg|left|thumb|200px|For just a few dollars, this could be you!]] |
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*Find a dealer in your local area. Clubs are a good place to start, but if there aren't any nearby, try your local [[high school]]! Kids are always pretty well connected. |
*Find a dealer in your local area. Clubs are a good place to start, but if there aren't any nearby, try your local [[high school]]! Kids are always pretty well connected. |
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+ | *Order it off the [[internet]]. Type 'Silk Road' into Google. Nuff said. |
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− | *Order it off the [[internet]]. Probably won't be able to get actual MDMA, but there are some pretty similar legal highs you can get online. I suggest Mephedrone. It's cheap, strong, and easy to use, but whatever you do, DO NOT SMOKE IT. Remember, we try these things so you don't have to, and this method of consumption is particularly fucked up. |
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+ | *Buy a small net, and some tickets to China. I hear the quail's are pretty easy to catch when they're sleeping. |
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+ | *Also, watch out for the Air Jordan logo pill. They did quite the opposite of making you jump high. |
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+ | *Ginger people. |
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+ | *Nymph Steel. |
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+ | ==Notes== |
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− | *Buy a small net, and some tickets to Japan. I hear the quail's are pretty easy to catch when they're sleeping. |
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+ | <references/> |
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+ | {{Mommy's medicine}} |
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[[Category:Drugs]] |
[[Category:Drugs]] |
2021年 12月28日 (火) 12:15時点 における最新 版
“This is the best thing I have ever touched! NO. Wait. This is the best thing I have ever touched.”
“I'm sorry, I just can't sustain my erection.”
MDMA (3,4-MMMMM...DMA!!!)[1] is quite possibly the perfect drug in terms of euphorically happy to cost-effective to non-addictive to doesn't-fuck-you-up-much ratio.
Funny Fact = All of the chemical elements necessary to make MDMA can be found in trace amounts in the air we breath, and due to the occasional chance chemical reaction, it just so happens that one molecule for every 25 trillion you breath in may well be pure Ecstasy! Thus, if you cycle the entirety of Earth's atmosphere through your lungs thirty-two thousand times in a single day, you will quite possibly have managed to consume an entire gram of MDMA! And to think you were going to buy it!
Origins & Timeline[編集 | ソースを編集 ]
MDMA is an odd substance in that it tends to crop up in the strangest of places, from the jungles of ancient Pangea to the thin coating of condensation on the bathroom windows of electronic music producers. what follows is a description of man's first encounters with this strange and mystical chemical.
Before Time[編集 | ソースを編集 ]
Before scientists learned to synthesize MDMA in large quantities, and in its first recorded appearance anywhere, it could be found in the wilds of Narnia where it was excreted from the sparkle glands on all the happiest species of unicorn. It was gathered by the ancient tribal method of stimulating the unicorn's glands with a smooth, circular rubbing motion, which exudes calm. The dust that fell off was then collected into small pouches made from the dried resin of the ancient Bag tree (known as 'baggies'). These 'baggies' were then carried through 'Ward-er-Robe', an isolated outpost in Jamaica, and were then sent to clubs all across the western world on the backs of donkeys which were later dubbed 'drug mules'.
478 BC[編集 | ソースを編集 ]
Greek blacksmith Socrates discovered that the residue left on the sides of his furnace after making swords out of nymph-steel made everything seem brighter if taken orally. He would host 'τρελλά συμβαλλόμενα μέρη', or 'mad parties'. At these parties he made good friends with a young man named Plato, to whom he spent hours talking about 'πραγματικά δροσίστε', or 'really cool shit'. Plato later made notes of his conversations with Socrates, and these became the foundations for all western Philosophy.
![](https://images.uncyclomedia.co/uncyclopedia/en/thumb/2/2a/School_athens.jpg/800px-School_athens.jpg)
214 BC[編集 | ソースを編集 ]
Ying Zheng (嬴政), the king of the Qin Empire in ancient China, discovered that he could produce a white, crystalline substance by distilling it from the tears of the Japanese Quail (pictured right). After finding that the substance created extreme euphoria and togetherness in his servants and mistresses, he ordered for it to be produced en masse under the trade name 'Qrazy Quail' (pronounced Kwaa-zee Kway-el). Qrazy Quail was then distributed to the leaders of the six great Chinese Empires; Wei, Qi, Qin, Han, Zhao and Jin, and lead ultimately to the reunification of ancient China under the Qin empire.
At roughly the same time in Macedonia, a member of King Philip V's court invented a grammatical tool which he named 'filler', which he used to make two separate rolls of parchment the same length so that they would appear visually pleasing. He would soon monopolize the MDMA trade within the Macedonian empire by combining half as much MDMA than his competitors with 'filler' OR 'whatever-the-fuck-was-under-my-sink'. This led to his eventual death, when the rest decided he was 'cramping their collective styles'.
1 BC[編集 | ソースを編集 ]
A young couple named Joseph and Mary found a large quantity of the drug in their professions as shoe-shiners to the men and women of Bethlehem, under the soles of ginger people's shoes. They found out the substance was psychotropic when Joseph 'accidentally' licked the feet of one of his flame-headed customers, and continued to strip off all of his clothes in the middle of Bethlehem square. The couple went on to harvest the near-pure MDMA from the ginger people's shoes, and would spend nights at a time off their tits on copious amounts of what they called 'Ginger Rapture'.
To Joseph's frustration, however, no matter how badly he wanted to show Mary a good time 'on the ging', he just couldn't sustain an erection for more than two or three minutes, in what has now been documented as the first ever occurrence of pilly willy.
To remedy the problem, Joseph decided to abstain from taking the substance for one night, and let Mary take his lot as well as her own. Mary went totally crazy, and demanded that Joseph had sex with her right there and then. Though Joseph was a good Jewish man, and the couple were not technically married, he wanted some of that pussy so badly that he thought, fuck it, you only live once, and decided to give the wide-eyed Mary what she wanted.
Later, to avoid disgrace, the couple claimed that the resulting pregnancy was an immaculate conception, a claim which was backed up by the fact that the baby seemed to be endowed with miraculous powers. Mary and Joseph called this baby Jesus, and it went on to be hailed as the Son of God and saviour of man by numerous individuals.
1 AD to c. 1450 AD[編集 | ソースを編集 ]
MDMA remained elusive to humankind for most of the first millennium, with only a few recorded appearances after it was discovered by Mary and Joseph in 1 BC. The first truly notable occurrence, and also the first time that MDMA came into the eyes of the general public, was when it was mass produced by a ring of underground alchemists in Britain and Europe as a cure for the Bubonic Plague. As it became clear that the substance did far more than cure sufferers of their symptoms, consumption of the drug skyrocketed and plunged the world into what has now become known as The Dark Ages.
1900 AD[編集 | ソースを編集 ]
Everyone woke up on the morning of January 1st 1900 feeling like they'd spent the last five hundred years with a sponge in their mouth. There wasn't a set of jaws in five thousand miles of Rome that didn't feel like it had just been chewing through a few meters of wood. Everyone decided it would be a good idea to drink some water and try to repair the damage they'd done to society during the next few centuries.
1957 AD[編集 | ソースを編集 ]
Whilst working for an upstart pharmaceutical company, German chemist Anton Köllisch decided that the party wasn't over, and synthesized MDMA in his lab in Darmstadt. Along with his associates Alexander Shulgin and David Nichols, he then went on to introduce MDMA to the modern world under its current and chemically accurate name. The drug became popular in night clubs all over the world, where users reported increased levels of self esteem coinciding with increased levels of flaccidity.
Effects & Uses[編集 | ソースを編集 ]
Professional Use[編集 | ソースを編集 ]
![](https://images.uncyclomedia.co/uncyclopedia/en/thumb/f/f1/Balloon-tank.jpg/430px-Balloon-tank.jpg)
Military[編集 | ソースを編集 ]
For a short time, MDMA was tested by the military to see if it would have any positive effects in the heat of battle. Unfortunately, every soldier administered with even a threshold amount of the drug immediately retreated to their private barracks to partake in an action which was euphemistically referred to as 'pinching themselves'.
Psychological[編集 | ソースを編集 ]
Psychoanalysts then saw the value behind the relaxation effects of MDMA, and also noticed that its users had decreased levels of emotional withdrawal. Unfortunately, a number of patients filed sexual harassment charges, claiming that the psychoanalysts had brainwashed them into openly performing an action which they euphemistically referred to as 'pinching themselves'.
Pros and Cons of MDMA[編集 | ソースを編集 ]
- Pros
- Body rushes, described as a feeling of increased energy and intellectual clarity.
- Dilated pupils, making colors seem brighter.
- Increased feeling of well being and content.
- Increased appreciation of lasers and smooth surfaces.
- If taken during pregnancy, can cause miraculous powers in the user's offspring.
- Can unite fractured oriental nations after years of war.
- Responsible for the birth of Western Philosophy.
- Makes water taste/look/smell/feel/sound like wine.
- Cons
- Users report feelings of paranoia if taken in excessive quantities.
- Can cause users to chew their teeth together, which can be detrimental to the user's oral health and make them look like a bit of a tit. Known as 'Gurning'.
- Can throw civilizations into years of intellectual darkness.
- Users suffer dehydration.
- PILLY. WILLY.
- Males might not know if they climax, medically known as "pseudonutting"
- Objects appear more edible than they actually are.
So Where Can I Get Some?[編集 | ソースを編集 ]
Well, if you ever drop by London you could always give me a call on 0771839499?, and I could set you up with some. Notice that the last number's a question mark, so you have to be extra committed and try all the combinations if you really want to get through to me. That way I'll know you're not a murderer or a cop, because why would they bother?
If you can't be bothered with all that, then I suggest you type 'MDMA synthesis' into Google, and start gathering the necessary ingredients. You'll want to start soon, cause believe me, there are many. There's also a rather large prison sentence waiting for you if you get caught, but also a rather large pile of pure MDMA if you don't!
If the above two options don't appeal to you, you have a few other choices:
- Find a dealer in your local area. Clubs are a good place to start, but if there aren't any nearby, try your local high school! Kids are always pretty well connected.
- Order it off the internet. Type 'Silk Road' into Google. Nuff said.
- Buy a small net, and some tickets to China. I hear the quail's are pretty easy to catch when they're sleeping.
- Also, watch out for the Air Jordan logo pill. They did quite the opposite of making you jump high.
- Ginger people.
- Nymph Steel.
Notes[編集 | ソースを編集 ]
- ↑ Also Known As: Methylenedioxymethamphetamine, Ecstasy, Pills, Disco crackers, Adam, Beans, E, XTC, Laser, Boogy Woogy, 'Thizz', Molly, MaD MAn, Silly billy, Gurners, 'The shit', MDMAmazing, and Mondays Don't Matter Anyway.