「UnNews:BP's chief meerkat caught cheating」の版 間 の差分
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| − | [[Image:BPoilcat2.jpg|thumb|right|400px|Aleksandr Orlov caught comparing the 'oilygarchs'.]] |
+ | [[Image:BPoilcat2.jpg|thumb|right|400px|Aleksandr Orlov caught comparing the 'oilygarchs' - in bed.]] |
| − | '''LONDON, United Kingdom |
+ | '''[[London|LONDON]], [[United Kingdom]]''' -- BP's chief cuddly oil <s>boss</s> meerkat has been exposed as a 'two-timing rat' when it was alleged he has been caught bed-hopping in [[Moscow]] this week. |
| − | [[Aleksandr Orlov]] was caught emerging from the bedroom of Russian oil |
+ | [[Aleksandr Orlov]], Chief Rodent of the international petroleum company [[BP]], was caught emerging from the bedroom of Russian oil flirt, Madame Stash-Roubles Rosneft after he had earlier booked into the hotel with another slick partner (identified as Mrs TNK-BP) earlier that evening. When collared and put on lead by the police, Orlov protested that he was 'only doing what any free market-supporting meerkat would do' and had been looking for another 'friend' to share a burrow with, and compare his wife too. Orlov also denied he was a moral weasel and suggested Mrs TNK-BP had approved of her partner's financially promiscuous behavior. But attempts to get Mrs TNK to bail out her erstwhile, ferret-faced husband were met with a permanent engaged tone on the telephone. |
| + | This isn't the first time Orlov has been caught with oily paws. Last year. Orlov took on the job of Chairmeerkat of BP following a fight outside his home in the tv series ''[[wikipedia:Meerkat|Meerkat Manor]]''. His fiesty behavior then and a reputation as a telegenic sales meerkat who could sell insurance got him noticed by BP when they were trying to fight bad publicity after their big Mexican oil rig blowup in 2010. However, as power went to his hind legs, it is now alleged Orlov decided to spread some of his 'meerkat charisma' around by visiting 'business partners' in their hotel bedrooms for special one-to-one deals. |
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| + | In Moscow, the Russian police eventually allowed Orlov to 'squeak' to the media. However, Orlov insisted in speaking to UnNews first - by using a tin-can-on-a-string link with one of our <s>desperate</s> dedicated reporters. |
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| − | <!-- After your article, give your sources (see Section 4.5 of UnNews:Style--Some articles don't need sources) --> |
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| + | [[Image:BPoilcat3.jpg|thumb|left|200px|BP is deep in the brown stuff.]] |
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| + | ''..I was treated very badly by Stash-Roubles Rosneft. I told my wife 'TNK' that I was just popping out for a stroll in my dressing gown and the next thing I knew, I was in a different room, three floors below and got introduced to Madame Rosneft in her shower. It was all innocent I tell you. I was only in there to hold Rosneft's soap dish when, the next thing I knew, our meeting had gone public with the help of the Russian police. Mrs TNK is threatening to remove my assets with the help of an amateur vet and a pair of sharp scissors..gulp...'' |
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| + | So far BP says there are 'fully behind' Orlov - with a large stone to drop on him from a great height. So far Orlov has chosen to stay in Moscow to avoid his bosses, and more likely, his very angry wife. |
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== Sources == |
== Sources == |
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| + | *{{source|url=http://www.telegraph.co.uk/finance/commodities/8450067/BP-disasters-and-disputes.html |
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| − | *{{source|url= |
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| − | |title= |
+ | |title=BP's recent problems |
| − | |author= |
+ | |author=Staff |
| − | |pub= |
+ | |pub=Daily Telegraph |
| − | |date= |
+ | |date=April 14, 2011}} |
| + | *{{source|url=http://news.sky.com/skynews/Home/Business/BP-Given-Until-May-16th-To-Conclude-Rosneft-Share-Swap-Deal/Article/201104215972197?lpos=Business_First_World_News_Article_Teaser_Region_3&lid=ARTICLE_15972197_BP_Given_Until_May_16th_To_Conclude_Rosneft_Share_Swap_Deal |
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| − | *{{source|url= |
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| − | |title= |
+ | |title=BP's oil dance |
| − | |author= |
+ | |author=Staff |
| − | |pub= |
+ | |pub=Sky News |
| − | |date= |
+ | |date=April 14, 2011}} |
| + | [[Category:Russia]] |
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| − | <!-- Finally, add one or more categories here to promote your article, putting each in [[double brackets]]. The categories linked from the UnNews main page are Category:Antarctica, Category:Africa, Category:Asia, Category:East Asia, Category:North America, Category:Middle East, Category:Central America, Category:South America. In addition, most countries and many industries have categories. Use as many as you like so that users can find your article from many areas of interest. --> |
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| + | [[Category:Business]] |
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| + | [[Category:Deepwater Horizon oil spill]] |
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2012年 1月 4日 (水) 21:25時点 における最新 版
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This article is part of UnNews, your source for up-to-the-picosecond misinformation. |
14 April 2011
LONDON, United Kingdom -- BP's chief cuddly oil boss meerkat has been exposed as a 'two-timing rat' when it was alleged he has been caught bed-hopping in Moscow this week.
Aleksandr Orlov, Chief Rodent of the international petroleum company BP, was caught emerging from the bedroom of Russian oil flirt, Madame Stash-Roubles Rosneft after he had earlier booked into the hotel with another slick partner (identified as Mrs TNK-BP) earlier that evening. When collared and put on lead by the police, Orlov protested that he was 'only doing what any free market-supporting meerkat would do' and had been looking for another 'friend' to share a burrow with, and compare his wife too. Orlov also denied he was a moral weasel and suggested Mrs TNK-BP had approved of her partner's financially promiscuous behavior. But attempts to get Mrs TNK to bail out her erstwhile, ferret-faced husband were met with a permanent engaged tone on the telephone.
This isn't the first time Orlov has been caught with oily paws. Last year. Orlov took on the job of Chairmeerkat of BP following a fight outside his home in the tv series Meerkat Manor. His fiesty behavior then and a reputation as a telegenic sales meerkat who could sell insurance got him noticed by BP when they were trying to fight bad publicity after their big Mexican oil rig blowup in 2010. However, as power went to his hind legs, it is now alleged Orlov decided to spread some of his 'meerkat charisma' around by visiting 'business partners' in their hotel bedrooms for special one-to-one deals.
In Moscow, the Russian police eventually allowed Orlov to 'squeak' to the media. However, Orlov insisted in speaking to UnNews first - by using a tin-can-on-a-string link with one of our desperate dedicated reporters.
..I was treated very badly by Stash-Roubles Rosneft. I told my wife 'TNK' that I was just popping out for a stroll in my dressing gown and the next thing I knew, I was in a different room, three floors below and got introduced to Madame Rosneft in her shower. It was all innocent I tell you. I was only in there to hold Rosneft's soap dish when, the next thing I knew, our meeting had gone public with the help of the Russian police. Mrs TNK is threatening to remove my assets with the help of an amateur vet and a pair of sharp scissors..gulp...
So far BP says there are 'fully behind' Orlov - with a large stone to drop on him from a great height. So far Orlov has chosen to stay in Moscow to avoid his bosses, and more likely, his very angry wife.
Sources[編集 | ソースを編集 ]
- Staff "BP's recent problems" Daily Telegraph, April 14, 2011
- Staff "BP's oil dance" Sky News, April 14, 2011