Hyena

• :See also: Hyena blazing

A Hyena staring at you!

The hyena (Hyaenidus chucklesia) is an extremely unpredictable and dangerous carnivorous herbivore which ranges all over the African continents, and is a major contributor to the plight and poverty (giggle) of the disease-wracked region. Even though hyenas look like dogs and act like dogs, scientists were retarded enough to classify them as being related to mongooses, this is obviously untrue, that's why scientists realized their retarded mistake and reclassified them as dogs again for being dumb asses.

Behavior in the Wild

Hyenas are often observed to congregate by the untold millions in densly-packed and fast-moving herds that scavenge all over the land, devouring just about anything even remotely edible such as grass and rice and trees and opium storage facilities and little furry creatures that scream chikichikiboo and watermelons, however, hyenas are actually powerful hunters. Virtually all of the ancestral African farmlands have been systematically ravaged (Hehehe!) by unceasing hyena attacks over the centuries, causing widespread famine (Hee!) and misery (Heheeehehehehe!) and other human suffering (Haha!!!). The hyena also spreads intestinal parasites (Meeheeheehee!) by urinating (Heheheh...) in vital public water supplies wherever it goes.

Threat to Helpless Children

Because the average hyena is highly skilled in the art of camouflage, it is extremely difficult to detect when approaching. Thousands of helpless (Heehee!) African children are suddenly snatched from their mother's arms every day by rabid (Muaha!) hyenas; surviving children are counted lucky if they only end up with one or more of their limbs chewed off (Hahahahaaah! Hehehe... Heheh... Heehee! Hee... Ahh... Giggle...).

Economic Impact

The African hyena pelt was once treasured by many African nations as a valuable export. However, since former Vice President Al Gore has recently declared the hyena an endangered species (Pffft! Hahahahaha!), the market value of hyena fur has declined drastically, robbing Africa of its sole source of international trade revenue and pushing the entire region deeper and deeper into third-world (Bwahahah! Ahahaha! Eheheheh! Eh... Heehee!).

The Hyena in African Mythology

In many ancient African tribal legends, the hyena recurs repeatedly as a motif symbolizing personal tragedy (Heheh! Tragedy! Haha...!), sadness (Hehehe...), and the lingering horrors (Hehehehehehehehehehehe!) of death (Haha! He said death!) itself.

See Also

• Laughter
• Maepkang Miti
• The Lion King (awesome movie!)