Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/August 2

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August 2: Intentionally Give A Stranger Misleading Directions Day

• 1452 - Illegal Aliens try to invade Mars to steal jobs from the people there. They meant to get to Earth, but luckily Jupiter gave them misleading directions.
• 1492 - During Christopher Columbus's expedition, a young Carib native helps the lookout on the lead ship- into a reef.
• 1493 - Christopher Columbus comes back and burns that little snot's village and builds La Navidad on top of it.
• 1602 - Aliens try to invade Europe, but return home to regroup after Indians give them false directions and the aliens wind up at the South Pole.
• 1939 - Tomasz Wankovszki, a Ukrainian farmer, accidentally starts World War 2 by sending the German army into Poland, telling them that it is actually "A shortcut to Czechoslovakia."
• 1941 - Tomasz Wankovszki narrowly escapes angry German troops, disguising himself as a janitor and pointing "that-a-way."
• 1952 - 19 kittens are simultaneously fired from three cannons in Quebec. This day has since become known as Three-Bean Salad Day in all countries except North Korea.
• 1993 - Something happens in Atlanta, Georgia. What exactly happened has been unknown to this point.
• 2002 - Aliens invade Earth but are defeated and forced to retreat a few days later when their secret weakness is discovered. Mel Gibson and Joaquin Phoenix are named Time Persons of the Year for the discovery.
• 2007 - Nobody asks you for directions. You feel sad.
• 2008 - I will win the war
• 2011 - The Americans drop a nuke on the whitehouse after being given false directions by a terrorist on where their hideout is.