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Homosexuality

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2008ねん7がつ21にち (月)げつ 07:49時点じてんにおけるimported>Ervinpospisilによるはん (cs:)
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“I'm actually gay, suprisingly.”

~ 50 Cent on Homosexuality

“You know, I really can't think of anything interesting to say.”

~ Oscar Wilde on Homosexuality

“The conservative view on homosexuality is wrong because of one, simple fact: Lesbians.”

~ Lewis Black on Homosexuality
A typical homo in its natural habitat. It's still straighter than you'll ever be, though!!

Homosexuality, as the name implies, is the sexuality of "homos", a type of parrot. These colorful birds can often be found biting the beaks of persons who try to feed them bird seed through the cage where they are displayed.

Like the peacock, they are birds whose colouration and mating rituals (such as constant buttsex) seem not to serve any functional role in terms of survival of the fittest; in fact, scientists believe that evolution should have killed them off a long time ago. Despite this, they are common in all places to this day.

Homosexuality used to be reviled, even denied. Bird-owners simply wanted to deny that homos had sex in the first place. Religious groups suggested that these colorful creatures should be allowed to fly free, but that any and all sexuality should rightfully be done in a lab, by breeders.

The sexuality of parrots has existed for many thousands of years, suggest scientists, who maintain that it is a natural process that animal breeders should not interfere with. The plight of these birds has become something of a national issue, with specialty stores and bars cropping up along highways from east to west catering to homosexuality. The parrots seem grateful and a bit overwhelmed.

Note that under rare circumstances, homos have been known to consume large quantities of penes.

The "other" form of homosexuality

There exists another aspect of homosexuality often ascribed to the act of two or more of the same sex embracing in intercourse. This behavior is debated among top researchers and experimenters to be either an abomination of God or the most fabulous lifestyle in modern culture.

Its origins are obscure and relatively unknown, but the first documented traces of this behavior appear during the Greco-Roman era, but at the time it was referred to as "wrestling." The Greeks, of course, were all gay as modern playwrights. Somtimes people say that homosexuality is wrong. We pitty these people. They are the people who enjoy to watch the grandmother touchin her dog. Laugh at them.

Causes of the "other" homosexuality

“I have nothing to declare except my penis.”

~ Oscar Wilde on The "Other" Homosexuality

Scientists believe there are chromosomes in the human imposed during birth that determine the sexual preference of an individual, but some scientists--most commonly psychologists--impose the "Catholic priesthood" theory of homosexuality that suggests this behavior can become an acquired preference.

A leading environmental cause of homosexuality is bad Internet porn. Several Christian citizens' protest groups are currently forming to demand the public subsidized availability of nannyware that ensures children's site requests are rerouted away from bad or "educational" porn to the highest quality sexiest pics on the Internet.

Does Homosexuality actually exist?

While contemporary literature and media frequently refers to homosexuals and homosexual activity, most scientists agree that homosexuality almost certainly exists only as a fairytale and theoretical philosophy (similar to nihilism) and that it is extremely unlikely that any person has ever had an actual homosexual experience in real life. If this were not the case then the human race, it is argued, would have disappeared from existence many millennia ago.

Famous Homosexuals

Preceded by:
Columbus, America, and Other Assorted Bullshit
Best Thing in Existence
1776 - 1865
Succeeded by:
Every Piece of Southern Literature Ever Written