User:Jocke Pirat/UnScript
Untitled
Scene 1
Aluza: On a certain day under a certain star someone would be born to fufill a a vague prophesy. Guess what, fucko? It's you. Never thought you'd be a prophet, did you fucko?Don't worry, though. I probably will to protect you long enough to fufill the prophesy. So don't worry your pretty little head. Unless you get killed by a rat or something. I'm not going to let your pathetic ass fufill a prophesy when you can't even kill a damned rat.
So anwyay, they're transporting you by boat from that hellhole prison. No assrape for you anymore, I'm afraid. Enjoy the opium. You're going out east in this fantasy land of swords and magic. Good luck.
Scene 2
[Raveren wakes up in a ship. A shirtless prisoner wakes him up.]
Lan: Jesus christ what the hell is wrong with you? Wake up! Wake up!
Raveren: Ahhh! Who the feck are you? Why are you blue? Where's your shirt? Why was I sleeping on a sack of rice?
Lan: It was crazy, man! You were shaking and shit all through the night and it was bad, man.
Raveren: I must have had some strong drugs. I don't know if I'm even on a boat.
Lan: I know, right?
Raveren: Why was I taking drugs?
Lan: They were getting suspicious of me and I had to vomit the condom up. I guess it broke when I shoved it down your throat.
Raveren vomits on the rice sack. A gaurd comes by.
Lan: Shh. Here comes the gaurd!
Gaurd #1: Woah...erm...yeah...
Raveren: A bit seasick.
Gaurd #1: I can see that...yeah. We'll clean that up later. This is where you get off.
Raveren walks onto the top of the deck. A gaurd stands by the only drawbridge available.
Gaurd #2: Just take a left.
Raveren stares at the gaurd, pondering why he'd need to say that, then walks onto the drawbridge where another gaurd promptly meets up with him.
Gaurd #3: Just follow me to the census office door!
Raveren: Is that the one not ten meters in front of me?
Gaurd #3: Yes.
Raveren: Why do I need an escort for such a small distance?
Gaurd #3: Just stop asking questions and head into the census office.