George Galloway
“After a hard day's work executing Iraqi socialists, it was good to have my "little Saddam" sucked by a Scottish one.”
“He's the most tip top - Top Cat!”
“Meow”
“This is the sort of thing I might expect to see on Fox News! FOX NEWS!!”
George Muhammad G'allah'weh Supreme British Protector of Palestine and European Commander of the Pro Islamic Federalist Anti Zionist Army usually known as George Galloway is a Scottish Ba'athist Muslim MP for Bow and Bethnal Green in London. He is best known for being the only known living example of Felix sapiens and his close personal friendships with several Middle Eastern despots. He currently lives anywhere but Bow and Bethnal Green where he has built a large museum, the size of London filled with miniature life-sized Michael Owen dolls, donated to him by his close friends Tariq Aziz and Gary Neville Chamberlain.
Life
Galloway was born to decent, hardworking proletarian folk in the city of Glasgow in Scotland. His parents have no idea what happened.
In the late 1970s, impressed by the way it had made itself unpopular, Galloway joined the Labour Party. He subsequently became MP for Glasgow Kelvin. He created a "Galloway Fund" and arranged for thousands of pounds of taxpayers money to be diverted into it to pay for the champagne, caviar and cigars that he "needed" to get through his meetings with constituents. Galloway defended this calling it "my kind of socialism".
In the late 1980s and early 1990s, Labour took measures to improve its standing with voters following a long time in the political wilderness. Galloway objected to these changes saying "I don't want to be part of a party that looks after the interests of the common man, I want to be part of a party that looks after me and my mates whilst I pretend to look after the interests of the common man. It is the Glasgow Labour way." By chance, murderous despot Saddam Hussein heard about Galloway and was touched by a man after his own heart. Hussein invited Galloway to Baghdad which Galloway accepted in 1994, who was taken on a tour of the city and was impressed with how Saddam mixed bombastic populist rhetoric with bullying and harsh treatment of workers and trade unionists. The two men struck-up a friendship which endured until Saddam's execution for crimes against humanity in 2006. Just before, in 2005, after an interview that can only be described as crackling with sexual tension, George began a homosexual relatonship with Jeremy Paxman.
He was kicked out of the Labour Party after they decided to bomb his friend's country. Now an independent MP, it is the only honest position he has held, as he could not care less about anyone else's opinion - by his own admission.
Fame
His career in British politics has been marked by a series of increasingly bizarre jobs he has taken "on the side" to generate what he calls "pocket money." These include standing in as a body-double for Chris Isaacs in the famous video for "Wicked Game," being a court-jester in the palaces of no less than 23489 Middle-Eastern despots, tribal leaders and minor feudal noblemen, and playing the role of the grouse in the advertisements for 'Famous Grouse' whisky. He also worked as house-price correspondent for the Daily Mail for a short time, a job requiring him to write up to seven articles every day. He is reputed to have earned a total of £74,566,495 for these endeavours.
In January 2006, in another of his sidelines, he appeared on Celebrity Big Brother, during which he was observed "doing a Monica". Unfortunately, this caused a breakdown of trust between George and his lover Paxman, who became increasingly jealous of his close relationship with Michael Barrymore during the show's run. Paxman was found drowned in a swimming pool with anal injuries some weeks later. His status as the only living member of the species felix sapiens remained unknown until his appearance on the show.
He is is also less widely known (is that possible?) for shouting 'I WON, GET OVER IT!' at very intelligent schoolchildren, referring to his public catfight with Sam Allardyce over Jeremy Paxman.
Controversy
In a crazy Nazi-esque manner, George decided to storm out of UCC Philosophy last night. What a nazi!
Galloway at times appears confused and bizarrely claims to be a branch of Claire's Accessories in Northern England.
Apparently he was miffed that Gerry Grieg diccovered his love affair with Saddam Hussein, Greig saying that Galloway was just in it for the bribes. He accused Galloway of discussing military tactics with Hussein, coming with great masses of men from behind being both men's favourite approach... in battle.
Galloway was later quoted as saying "I mean don't get me wrong, i'd love a good anal probing at the best of times, but that lad Grieg was just too forceful".
George Galloway caused a security scare when he visited the House of Commons in August 2005, during the parliamentary recess. Since he didn't have any TV appearances or dictators to lunch with, he decided to go to work. Since he had seldom shown up for work since his election in 1987, no-one recogised him and this led to army bomb disposal units being called in. Galloway was safely detonated in a controlled explosion.
In July 2007, Galloway was suspended from Parliament for 18 months for being contemptible. Galloway responded to this with "Where?"
Kebabs
In May 2005, a U.S. Senate committee report accused Galloway along with former French minister Charles Pasqua of receiving the right to buy kebabs under the UN's kebab-for-food scheme. This controversial kebab-trail led directly from Saddam Hussein's front door right into Galloway's mouth. The committee also wanted to have a few words with him about oil, but he totally pwned those n00bs.
Controversial Views
In 2008 it was alleged that George Galloway's laughable views are in fact the result of a long running pub bet.
Galloway adopted the most ridiculous opinions it is possible to hold in order to see how many people he could get to support him, purely for the amusement of Galloway and his friends.
In a drunken moment of honesty Galloway mocked supporters with a remarkably lucid analysis, "Look at that bitch that was on Big Brother, she looked like Jabba the fucking slutt. Useless bitch, obviously has nothing going on in her life so has to devote herself to some all-encompassing ideology in order to forge a sense of identity and escape from a damaged self. Throw yourself into the road darling, you haven't got a chance!"
Galloway has refused to comment on the incident.
Support for Islamic Freedom Fighters
George Galloway is a close personal friend of many Islamic Freedom Fighters, and is doing everything he can to help them in their noble efforts to free the world from non-belivers, and establish Sharia Law.
He recently visited the Gaza Strip where he was bestowed Hamas’s Highest Honor by Prime Minister Leonidas of Hamas who shouted "This is Gaza" before pushing Galloway into a very deep hole in the ground.
Unfortunately, Galloway survived the fall and was seen crawling out of a tunnel on the Egyptian side of the border.
He also visited the Persian Empire and was awared that country’s highest medal of honor for his unconditional support for their peaceful nuclear program and their peaceful ballistic missile program.
Enemies
George Galloway has many enemies. His greatest Nemesis is considered to be the Infidel Christopher Hitchens who has repeatedly publicly insulted George Galloway's religion.
