Anime
“OMG, it iz teh gayest stuff eva. Just a bunch of kiddie hentai crap but wapanese NEEEERRRRRDZ (they call teh fogggats Otakus there) like this kind of stuuf tho, they are so gay the fagets”
“OMG, it iz teh gayest stuff eva. Just a bunch of kiddie hentai crap but wapanese NEEEERRRRRDZ (they call teh fagggats Otakus there) like this kind of stuuf tho, they are so gay the fagets”
Anime was slowly, but carefully invented in 1603 by a man named Oda Nobunaga during his last years. Nobunaga invented anime to scare away the Muslims that were invading Japan. He made people have really big eyes to trick invaders into thinking they were in Europe rather than Asia. Now anime is an important part of Asian society. In the late 1700s when Jesus was resurrected, anime was banned from Europe because it was considered unholy.
Some anime is hand-drawn, this anime however looks like crap, most anime is illegally copied from the internet, this is the good type of anime. As you read on you will learn about the wonderfully perverted world of Asian people.
Narutard
Narutard is a popular anime series about a gay white kid with ADD, OCD, and every other mental disorder known to man (not to mention some known to dolphin), this white kid's name is Naruto (hence the title). There is also an emo kid named Sasuke who Naruto hopes to one day rape, and deep down inside, Sasuke feels the same way about Naruto. Sakura is a transsexual moose who hates Naruto but likes Sasuke, to whom she eventually gets married. All three of these assholes get put on a team together when they attend Hogwarts School for Ninjitsu and Tentacle Rape.
FullMetal Alchemist
FullMetal Alchemist is about a Mexican boy named Eduardo and his brother Alfonso. In 1873, Ed lost his arm to a nazi attack caused by Tom Cruise. Later that year, he also lost his leg for illegally crossing the border. Then the cabbage patch kids came and killed his brother, Al. Ed then drew a pretty picture on some armor, and Al became a communist robot. They then travelled the world searching for the cabbage patch kids to get Al's body back, only to discover that you have to be a homocidal goth named Sephiroth to resurrect the dead/perform alchemy on humans. The series is marked by painfully long monologues and loads and loads of emo crap. Although most FullMetal Alchemist fans won't admit it, they actually hate most of the episodes, and are just sitting through hours of pointless oration waiting the brief, mediocre action scenes the show is lauded for.
Hentai
The most important subgenre of anime, hentai is a type of anime pornography that lots of Asian guys like to look at. One example of hentai is Yu-Gi-Oh! which is about naked pre-teen girls on pieces of cardboard that come alive and fight each other with thei soft, budding little breasts. Another example of hentai is Trinity Blood which is about people that live in a vagina.
AMV
AMV is short for anime music video. Their natural habitat is YouTube, though they can also live in PCs, Macs, and temperate forests, if the need arises. Most AMVs are a bunch of random crappy subtitled anime clips along with some crappy music. The only good AMVs are the ones where they show boobies and violence towards children.
German Influence
Most anime is influenced by African-American, but there is some that is influenced by Germans. Most anime you see on Cartoon Network and Animax (Asia only) have some type of German influence, such as the Gundam series which got canceled because of too much German influence. Also Dragon Ball Z had some German influence which is why there are so many white people with scary accents. Clamp School is another good example, in this anime there are almost no Asians to be found.
Steel Angel Kurumi
A historical drama set in Japan in the 1930's. A boy named Nakahito finds a magical android superweapon named Kurumi in a scientist's secret lab. Nakahito's tender adolescent feelings are awakened by this mysterious girl. He is so captivated by her beauty that he decides to show his affection by raping her while she's asleep. This awakens the android, which is something not even her creator, the brilliant Dr. Baka, could do. The cast spends most episodes on the run from the military, magicians, and a white-haired Russian boy named Mikhail who wants to take Nakahito's anal virginity.
Scientists suspect that the series is somewhere between three and five seasons long. However, this can not be confirmed by direct observation, since no subject has ever lived past the third episode.
AzuManga Daioh
Please don't ask me about that now. I... I... I just can't talk about it yet. It's too recent. The nightmares still keep me awake at night. Oh dear God in Heaven! How could you let that happen to so many little girls!? They were too young! *sob*
Neon Genesis Evangelion
a.k.a. "The Mindfuck from Hell"
FLCL
(Pronounced "fooly-cooly") Shinji Watanabe wondered how much crack he could possibly do in 24 hours. This anime was the result. Watanabe wrote, directed, and hand-drew every frame of this anime in sixteen seconds, before bursting into flames.
Love Hina
BOOBIES!!!!!!
Negima!
Harry Potter BOOBIES!!!
Gunslinger Girl
PREPUBESCENT BOOBIES!!!
Tentacle High School
Though confusing to foreigners, this show is understandable if one is aware of a vital aspect of Japanese society: rape is legal in Japan. It's not uncommon for people to violently rape each other as a way of breaking the ice. It's like a handshake, except you can do multiple times, with all your friends helping.
The show's protagonist, Kisa-chan, is an elementary-schooler admitted to high school because of her prodigious IQ. Unfortunately, this causes jealousy on the part of some of the other students, who decide to pull a prank on her by summoning an Elder God to destroy the entire world. However, intead of summoning an Elder God, they accidentally summon an Adolescent God, who is still in the midst of puberty and very, VERY horny.
Hilarity ensues.
Excel Saga
There is nothing to contribute on this series. It practiaclly satirizes itself! Trying to satirize it is like helping Mike Tyson beat himself up: you would just get in the way.
Bo Jangles, Pennyworth, and the Excellent Brigade
If Kratos (God of War), Lu Bu (Dynasty Warriors) and Charles Manson (Crazy Motherfucker) all came together to make an anime, this would be it.
See Also
Laws of Anime Physics
Naruto
Inuyasha
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