Uncyclopedia:Anniversaries/October 8

October 8: War on Terra celebrations, International Best Inventions Ever Day

• 6000 BC - God invents breasts
• 5999 BC - Woman invents sin
• 2600 BC - Mayans invent chocolate
• 500 - Germans invent beer
• 800 - Vikings invent awesome helmets with horns on them.
• 1234 - Handgun is invented. This later inspires the invention of real guns.
• 1337 - Mexico joins forces with Pirates and the Leet tribe.
• 1338 - Ninja Jesus declares war on Mexico, which turns out to be an attempt at distraction, for he has more plans up his sleeve.
• 1339 - Ninja Jesus reveals his plans, and you are too late to hear them.
• 1496 - Oscar Wilde invents Unclyclopedia
• 1921 - Americans invent bacon cheeseburger
• 1945 - U.S. Army develops gun that shoots guns that shoot swords
• 1949 - Danes create Lego
• 1952 - Deep fried spam invented
• 1958 - Segway invented in Paris. Rioting ensues.
• 1959 - Rioting invented.
• 1963 - Hippies invent Free Love
• 1979 - Victoria's Secret Catalogue introduced. This is followed days later by a worldwide lotion shortage.
• 1984 - Wales invents the cheese and ham toastie, it is made their national dish. Students rejoice.
• 1993 - Scientologists revolted. Nobody cared.
• 1998 - Monkey butlers invented, but those damn PETA activists won't let us have any.
• 2003 - War on Terra begins when Canada attacks a marble quarry in Vermont, claiming that it was "harboring terra"
• 2005 - In one of the most controversial friendly-fire incidents of the War on Terra, several shipments of Home Depot terra cotta are bombed by U.S. B-52s.
• 2006 - Royal Canadian Air Force invents Air-to-Segway missile.