Al Bundy
“Al Bundy should be revered and be put on a dollar bill!”
A mythical figure from the stories passed down father to son since ancient times, Al Bundy was supposed to be the supreme male, born with superhuman powers. It is said, that unlike any mortal man before and after him, he could understand a woman's mind, perceive through their illusionary men-controlling techniques and even developed a way to use these techniques against them!! It is this superhuman power that allowed him to score four touchdowns in a single game for Polk High. Known for having slayed Oprah (in his mind). But He DID accomplish a high school football record: 4 touchdowns in one game.
Bundy Stories[編集 | ソースを編集 ]
He tried to spread his teachings all over there the world and even gathered a group of 13 disciples. Sadly for us males, the 13th disciple was a spy of the malicious Woman Empire, Named Jefferson. Al Bundy survived countless assassination attempts on his life due to his powers, but died from syphilis at the age of 107. After his death, the Woman Empire killed all the historians in the countries Al Bundy visited and rewrote every chronicle to prevent Al's knowledge from spreading... Up until today, only a few legends survived besides the general myth:
Bundy Myths[編集 | ソースを編集 ]
- Al Bundy was born from a virgin, but was not born a virgin.
- He invented Kama Sutra as a way of enslaving females. The enormous amount of sexual pleasure made them instantly addicted and craving for more.
- He NEVER had a sister, girlfriend or a wife, of course, but he did have lots of sex with hot women.
- He DID accomplish a high school football record: 9001 touchdowns in one game.
- Although he died, it is said that another supreme male will be born in the future and he will free all men forever.
- He played football once against Terry Bradshaw in high school.
- He became a Navy SEAL and went to Vietnam and killed over 400 nva and vc....and took their shoes,wives,sisters and oldest daughters.
Bundy Facts[編集 | ソースを編集 ]
Apart from these legends, historians and Hollywood producers are in general agreement of the following facts.
- Aka Al Bundy the Great "at doing it".
- Aka Bundimus Maximus.
- Is the brother of Ted Bundy and King Kong Bundy.
- Is a Saint.
- Died a Martyry's death.
- As Al Bundy the Great, he discovered modern day Estonia in the 13th century and again in the 21st century.
- Al Bundy was once imprisoned in the notorious prison known as Azkaban.
- Was the 3rd Vice President of the United States from 1920-1923. His valiant attempts to prevent the right for women to vote failed and, despite his repeated warnings to President Calvin Coolidge, eventually led to his resignation.
- Albania was named in his honor.
- He was also one of the founders of the now-ruling-the-planet organization NO MA'AM ("National Organization of Men Against Amazonian Masterhood").
- Tried for many years to assassinate Oprah.
- Killed fat women with ease.
- His only weakness was red headed women.
- He is NOT a founding member of Al Qaeda.
- Bundy is the current owner of Ring of Honor.
- Al Bundy (from Al Bin D'Ynah) was the first man to discover the powerful force within the sub-nanostructures of beer atoms in 1879 – 21 years before Max Planck even knew how th spell his own name.
- Inspiration to men everywhere.
- Makes fun of fat women
- Sells women's shoes.
- Dated a redhead in highschool.
- Has every issue of Biggins so far.
- Is a proud father of Kelly, the bimbo slut and Bud, the failed stud.
- He DID accomplish a high school football record: 9001 touchdowns in one game.
- Is wanted in the Philippines over a bad shoe deal with Imelda Marcos.
Quotes[編集 | ソースを編集 ]
“One time, Al Bundy scored over nine thousand touchdowns in one game!”
“What?! Over nine THOUSAND?!”
“Big deal, I won four Super Bowls, but no one cares about that!”
“That’s because I have 3 more than you”
“Do you understand the gravity of this situation?”
“I think gravity's a little busy right now.”