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If we're going to have a union, we need to have leaders (or at the very least representatives). Vote on leaders below.--<<Bradmonogram.png>> 19:22, 25 October 2008 (UTC)

Vote for change!*

*change not guaranteed

Possible Cabal leaders

Bradaphraser

Score: 6
  • Nom'd by - MrN MrN9000SouthParksmall.jpg 22:08, Oct 25
  • Fooor. • Spang • ☃ • talk • 17:03, 27 Oct 2008
  • For. ~Sir Rangeley Icons-flag-us.png GUN WotM UotM EGA +S (talk) 17:30, 27 October 2008 (UTC)
  • Symbol for vote.svg Union! Spacer.gifSpacer.gifPremierTomMayfairChe.png RedPhone.png Unsoc.png Hammer and sickle.png 20:16, 27 October 2008 (UTC)
  • For, if he'll do it. First, this will help curb the pain of him throwing away the presidential election with that whole "nude stunt". Second, alphabetically, his name (which is Bradaphraser in real life, as well) will generally appear near the top of lists that both have names and include his name (draw a venn diagram if you're confused). Third, he's a level-headed guy who, for reasons that I can't fathom, loves this site. He makes me sick. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 10:10, 28 October 2008 (UTC)
  • Yes --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent OZ! Noobaward.jpg Wotm.jpg Unbooks mousepad.PNG GUN.png 10:15, 28 October 2008 (UTC)
  • Yes. -- Mhaille

Codeine

Score: 22

Chronarion

Score: 1

Kingkitty

Score: 2???

Symbol declined.svg Against. He's a twelve-year-old. :p COLIN American-flag.jpgALL YOUR BASEAmerican-flag.jpgHEANEY! AMERICA JOE THE PLUMBER IN '08!!! 20:24, 27 October 2008 (UTC)

Mhaille

Score: 22

*For --Littleboyonly.jpg T​K​F​​UJewriken.GIF​UJewriken.GIF​UJewriken.GIF​UJewriken.GIF​UJewriken.GIF​UJewriken.GIF​UJewriken.GIF​UJewriken.GIF​UJewriken.GIF​UJewriken.GIF​UJewriken.GIF​UJewriken.GIF​UJewriken.GIF​UJewriken.GIF​UJewriken.GIF​UJewriken.GIF​UJewriken.GIF​UJewriken.GIF​UJewriken.GIF​UJewriken.GIF​UUJewriken.GIF​UJewriken.GIF​UJewriken.GIF​UJewriken.GIF​UJewriken.GIF​UJewriken.GIF​UJewriken.GIF​UJewriken.GIF​UJewriken.GIF​UJewriken.GIF​UJewriken.GIF​UJewriken.GIF​UJewriken.GIF​UJewriken.GIF​UJewriken.GIF​UJewriken.GIF​UJewriken.GIF​UJewriken.GIF​UJewriken.GIF​UJewriken.GIF​UJewriken.GIF​CK Oldmanonly.jpg 22:16, 25 October 2008 (UTC)

Voting on Monday. JudgeZarbi Icons-flag-gb.png TALK 22:16, 25 October 2008 (UTC)

Modusoperandi

Score: 0

Mordillo

Score: 8
  • Nominated by --Sycamore (Talk) 19:42, 25 October 2008 (UTC)
  • For One of the most level-headed users on the site, and possibly the most proactive. With Mordillo it's simple: he gets to the bottom of things and gets shit done. -RAHB 16:37, 27 October 2008 (UTC)
  • Symbol for vote.svg For.--Sycamore (Talk) 17:13, 27 October 2008 (UTC)
  • עבור. Because he might be a Mossad agent. RabbiTechno 20:19, 27 October 2008 (UTC)
  • For. You know what would be awesome, is if we sent someone who was active on the site and not just on IRC. Tinymasaru.gifpillow talk 20:42, 27 October 2008 (UTC)
  • For. Started an intelligent discussion on Uncyclopedia, then went on to perform lesser miracles such as curing lepers. --Algorithm 01:05, 28 October 2008 (UTC)
  • For. It's looking like it's Codeine, Mhaille, Spang and... Hmm, now someone told me that the Jews are rather good at negotiating... If we want representation from a non sysop, I'm happy to provide that, but I feel kinda ridiculous standing against someone with so much more Uncyclopedia experience than myself. It's also probably a good idea if our representatives are not made up entirely of Brits. MrN MrN9000SouthParksmall.jpg 13:47, Oct 28
  • Yes. -- Mhaille
  • Sure. • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} 19:53, Nov 1

MrN9000

Score: 9

Olipro

Score: 6

RAHB

Score: 1

Spang

Score: 14

Sycamore

Score: withdrawn
  • Nominated by -RAHB 19:43, 25 October 2008 (UTC)
  • Symbol for vote.svg For, but DON'T YOU FUCKING DARE NOMINATE ME. :P JudgeZarbi Icons-flag-gb.png TALK 19:48, 25 October 2008 (UTC)
Let's save votes for Monday. We'll know all the choices by then.--<<Bradmonogram.png>> 20:54, 25 October 2008 (UTC)
Symbol declined.svg not my thing--Sycamore (Talk) 10:03, 28 October 2008 (UTC)

Hindleyite

Score: 1
  • Know him from illogicopedia, and he's a very good wikilingual user, as well as a admin in uncyc,illogicopedia and wikia.--England flag 1.png OMFG Rabies turtle! | Speak...  20:56, 31 October 2008 (UTC)
  • Symbol for vote.svg For. An interwiki representative would be good. The Linkifier!!!!!? 20:40, 1 November 2008 (UTC)

The Thinker

Score: 2
  • THINKER is also not an admin, and the most prolific author of featured articles who is not an admin (besides Cajek, but I mean, come on, Cajek's demented (no offense Cajek). ). However, he may be a little hard to get hold of, his last contribution was a week-and-a-half ago, and I don't know if he'll want to do this. However, he should. • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} 16:31, Oct 27
He would probably do a pretty good job of negotiation too. I think he's been pretty busy, but I'll give him a ring about it. -RAHB 16:35, 27 October 2008 (UTC)

Under user

Score: withdrawn
  • We need some users on the leaders' council, not just admins. So I nom my favorite user, Under User. That is, if he'll accept. Qualifications include: he's married, so he knows how to negotiate. ... That's all I know about him, actually. • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} 16:16, Oct 27
  • For. ~Jewriken.GIF 17:17, 27 October 2008 (UTC)
  • For. MrN MrN9000SouthParksmall.jpg 17:31, Oct 27
  • Against and withdraw. Seriously. Happy to help out all I can, but this kind of thing ain't my bag, baby. --UU - natter UU Manhole.gif 19:22, Oct 27

Get rid of joke noms

The forum topic that spawned this topic (too lazy to link) was almost totally serious. This should be serious too. I mean... George W. Bush? User:Drama? Come on. If we are going to create a union, it should be taken seriously among the union members. If we, Uncyclopedia, don't take it seriously, there is no way that Wikia will respect us. Please, delete the joke noms. • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} 16:02, Oct 27

Done. JudgeZarbi Icons-flag-gb.png TALK 16:04, 27 October 2008 (UTC)
What about Kingkitty? I count that as a joke nom. • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} 16:10, Oct 27
Huff if you want. JudgeZarbi Icons-flag-gb.png TALK 16:59, 27 October 2008 (UTC)

Questions about the Uncyclopedia Union leaders

My question right now is: How many people will head the Union? 4? 5? 8? Or will it be anyone who gets a certain number of votes? This should be decided quickly. • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} 16:09, Oct 27

We needs admin to decide, and also to put a sitenotice up for this. JudgeZarbi Icons-flag-gb.png TALK 16:10, 27 October 2008 (UTC)

I believe the agreed upon number was four users. Mordillo suggested two admins and two regular users, an idea I kind of like. The sitenotice we have up will do good. No sense in redirecting someone here if they haven't read the original forum yet. -RAHB 16:29, 27 October 2008 (UTC)
Then it is settled. Two sysops and two normal users will represent us in the talks. When will the voting cease? • • • Necropaxx (T) {~} 16:37, Oct 27
It looks as though we are shooting for 4 representatives, which will be the 4 people that get the highest votes. They don't necessarilly have to be admins or members, it's just the 4 people we think will be the best negotiators. ~Sir Rangeley Icons-flag-us.png GUN WotM UotM EGA +S (talk) 17:46, 27 October 2008 (UTC)

Tiebreaker

Right now it looks like a tie between myself and Mordillo for the 4th spot. I can't speak for Mordillo, but I'm pretty involved at my job, too. Given that I live in Jesusland, Uncyclopedia from a school computer is a big no-no. So I'd probably turn it down if it came down to a tie. I do appreciate all the support and I would do my best if elected, but Mordillo will probably have more time to actually talk with Wikia in this case.--<<Bradmonogram.png>> 12:38, 28 October 2008 (UTC)

Users being nommed have more of a say

I think that users who are nominated to be a leader here that do not want to be leaders should have more of a say in what becomes of them other than just a single Symbol declined.svg Against. vote. I see that Under User was nominated, but he does not want to be a leader. I know If I was nominated (which I highly doubt would happen), I would not want that position. I am more of a pacifist and not good at swaying people's opinions, therefore would not make a good leader. So I feel that if someone is nominated and does not want to be leader, then they should be allowed to close the voting for themselves. Icons-flag-pi.PNG Pirate Lord__Sonic80 (Yell  •  Latest literary excretion) __ 20:04, 27 October 2008 (UTC)

Yeah, obviously. If someone doesn't accept the nomination, they wouldn't be forced to take the position. If Under User (or someone else that was nominated) wants, they could just remove their section entirely from consideration. ~Sir Rangeley Icons-flag-us.png GUN WotM UotM EGA +S (talk) 20:08, 27 October 2008 (UTC)
Well, that's a given - I don't think the community would force this on anyone unwilling to do the job - that would be hugely self-defeating. And I don't think people would vote for someone who self-againsted. I just left the nom there in case someone saw it go missing and put it back or whatever. Tell you what, I'll make it a little clearer though. --UU - natter UU Manhole.gif 20:34, Oct 27

Force someone who doesn't want to do this job to do it

Score: +2
  • Symbol for vote.svg For. I can think of no sounder strategy than to force someone to negotiate with Wikia who doesn't particularly consider himself skilled at it, have time, or care about our cause. My personal suggestion is that we find some guy Cajek used to know in the fourth grade and force him to do this. Tinymasaru.gifpillow talk 22:48, 27 October 2008 (UTC)
  • Red check mark.svg Totally dude. - Rougethebat.gifAdmiral Enzo Aquarius-Dial the Gate SonicLivesPicture.png 16:59, 1 November 2008 (UTC)

Important Question

How can we have a cabal leader if there is no cabal? -- Phlegm Leoispotter * (garble! jank!) 23:52, 28 October 2008 (UTC)

Exactly. Delete this topic now. -- Hindleyite Converse • ?pedia 13:45, 29 October 2008 (UTC)
Well, duh! We don't have a cabal yet. We have to elect the leaders first. ~ MafiaHatBlack.gif Chair. Rodrigo S. P. "Spuddy" Burek 18:35, 29 October 2008 (UTC)
You don't elect Cabal leaders, silly. The Cabal does. Sheesh, even the dullards in the Illuminati know that! Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 02:22, 1 November 2008 (UTC)
You have it wrong. The Cabal doesn't elect their leader. Their leader seizes power in a bloody and terrifying coup. Tinymasaru.gifpillow talk 21:49, 3 November 2008 (UTC)
He has a Coupe? Is it 2-door or 4-door?--<<Bradmonogram.png>> 01:38, 4 November 2008 (UTC)

Speech

If there is anyone out there who still doubts that Uncyclopedia is a place where all things are possible; who still wonders if the dream of our founder is alive in our time; who still questions the power of our democracy, tonight is your answer.

It's the answer told by users that stretched around talk pages and forum topics in numbers this wiki has never seen; by people who read for three hours and four hours, many for the very first time in their lives, because they believed that this time must be different; that their inane ramblings could be that difference.

It's the answer spoken by young and old, rich and poor, user and admin, black, white, Hispanic, Asian, Native American, gay, straight, IP and registered user - Uncyclopedians who sent a message to the wiki that we have never been just a collection of individuals or a collection of funny articles and unfunny articles: we are, and always will be, uncyclopedia.org.

It's the answer that led those who have been told for so long by so many to be cynical, and fearful, and doubtful of what we can achieve to put their hands on the arse of history and bend it once more toward the hope of a better website. It's been a long time coming, but tonight, because of what we did on this day, in this election, at this defining moment, change has come to Uncyclopedia.

A little bit earlier this evening I received an extraordinarily bizarre call from Senator Bradaphraser. He fought long and hard in this campaign, and he's fought even longer and harder for the wiki he loves. He has endured sacrifices for Uncyclopedia that most of us cannot begin to imagine. We are better off for the service rendered by this brave and selfless administrator.

I congratulate him, I congratulate Governor Modusoperandi, for all they have achieved, and I look forward to working with them to renew this wiki's promise in the months ahead.

I want to thank my partner in this journey, a man who campaigned from his heart and spoke for the men and women he grew up with on the streets of Liverpool and rode with on that train home, the co-cabal-leader elect of Uncyclopedia, Mhaille.

And I would not be standing here tonight without the unyielding support of my sexual abuser for the past 16 years, the rock of our site, the bane of my life, the wiki's next first pervert, Olipro. Mordillo and MrN9000, I love you both more than you can imagine, and you have earned the new puppy that's coming with us to Wikia, and that we will threaten to drown unless they capitulate to our demands.

But above all, I will never forget who this victory truly belongs to - it belongs to you.

I was never the likeliest candidate for this office. Well, OK, let's face it, I was. But anyway. We didn't start with much money or many endorsements. Our campaign was not hatched in the server farms of Wikia - it began in the backyards of IRC and the living rooms of the Forums and the basements of your parents where you sit sweatily typing away, instead of going out and getting girlfriends like any normal person.

It was built by working men and women who dug into what little comedy they had to give 5 laughs and 10 laughs and 20 laughs to the cause.

It grew strength from the young people who rejected the myth of their generation's puerile humour; who left their homes and their families to write articles that offered no pay and less sleep; it grew strength from the not-so-young people who braved the bitter cynicism and scorching satire to knock on the funny bones of perfect strangers; from the millions of Uncyclopedians who volunteered, and organised, and proved that more than three years later, a content-free encyclopedia of the people, by the people and for the people has not perished from the Internet.

This is your victory.

This is our time - to put our writers back to work and open doors of opportunity for our n00bs; to restore comedy and promote the cause of lols; to reclaim the Uncyclopedian dream and reaffirm that fundamental truth - that out of many, we are one; that while we write, we hope, and where we are met with cynicism and doubt, and those who tell us that we can't, we will respond with that timeless creed that sums up the spirit of a wiki: meh.

Thank you, God bless you, and may God bless the Uncyclopedia.

-- Sir Codeine K·H·P·B·M·N·C·U·Bu. · (Harangue) 15:48, 7 November 2008 (UTC)

“If you think that my bowtie is neat, you should see my penis.”

~ RAHB on his penis
Er, Wikia says a bolt of lighting just struck down one of Uncyclopedia's servers. Maybe we shouldn't be asking for support from God. Maybe I should give Satan a call. – Sir Skullthumper, MD (criticize • writings • critchat) 15:51 Nov 07, 2008
You know, I think that just might work... what's his number? Colin Explode fire.gifALL YOUR BASEExplode fire.gifHeaney! Casa Bey Superfly Portfolio 17:04, 7 November 2008 (UTC)
666-6665. If you can believe that. -RAHB 21:59, 7 November 2008 (UTC)
So that number has nothing to do with your penis then. Let's please not have another forum which is basically all just about RAHB's penis. OK, nobody mention RAHB's penis. MrN MrN9000SouthParksmall.jpg 22:09, Nov 7
You mean the one he uses to have sex? I hate that one. The other one he's got is pretty sweet, though. It does tricks! --Mr. Monkey Sockmonkey.gif Pant-hoot here. 22:20, 7 November 2008 (UTC)
The sex one does tricks too. Sexy tricks... while it's having sex... -RAHB 22:26, 7 November 2008 (UTC)
And where did RAHB's sex penis touch you Billy... ... Oh. My. God. --Sir DJ ~ Irreverent OZ! Noobaward.jpg Wotm.jpg Unbooks mousepad.PNG GUN.png 10:50, 8 November 2008 (UTC)

Concession Speeches

Bradaphraser

Thanks for nothing, my friends. We have come to the end of a long journey to find your support lacking. The Uncyclopedian people have spoken, and they won't shut up. A little while ago, I had the honor of prank-calling Senator Codeine. After asking if his refrigerator was running, I hung up on him.

In a contest as long and pointless as this campaign has been, his success managed to inspire the hopes of so many millions of Uncyclopedians who had once wrongly believed that they had little at stake or little influence on the morals and character this website would keep. I don't care; I still hate him for kicking my ass.

But we both recognize that, though we have come a long way from the old injustices that once stained our wiki's reputation and denied some Uncyclopedians the full blessings of a content-free wiki that anyone can edit, the memory of Wikia's hostile take-over still has the power to wound.

Two years ago, declaring that selling the Uncyclopedia.org domain would lead to Wikia taking over the site was taken as an outrage in many quarters. Uncyclopedia today is now mired in the cruel and frightful policies of that very nightmarish scenario. There is no better evidence of this than the moving of the site to .com domain name.

Let there be no reason now for any Uncyclopedian to fail to cherish their registration in this, the greatest content-free wiki that anyone can edit on the internet.

Senator Codeine has achieved a great thing for himself and for this community. I applaud him for it, and offer him my sincere sympathy that his beloved mother had not heard about this forum. Though our faith assures us she is at peace with his life choices and so very proud of the "good" "man" she helped raise, it also reminds us to fax our souls to Rhyleth post-haste before January 20th before the coupon deal runs out.

These are difficult times for our wiki. And I pledge to him tonight to do all in my power to help him lead us through the many challenges we face. I ask all six of the Uncyclopedians who supported me to join me in not just congratulating him, but showering our Cabal leader with our good will and earnest effort to find ways to come together to find the necessary compromises to bridge our differences and help restore our prosperity, defend our independence in a silly, easily-mocked world, and leave those who will inherit the wiki after us stronger, better satricial website than we inherited from Chronarion and Stillwaters.

All I can offer in compensation for your support is my confused, awkward silence, constant stammering, and the promise of another incompetent faux campaign four more years ahead.

I am also, of course, very thankful to Governor Modusoperandi, one of the funniest campaigners I've ever seen, and an impressive figure at Uncyclopedia, even when you factor in the libedo. I'd also like to thank his family for their tireless dedication to our cause, and the courage and grace they showed in the rough and tumble of a fake presidential campaign, and for not pressing charges. We can all look forward with great interest to his future service to Uncyclopedia from that distant outpost in Canada, or whatever other fake, insignificant quasi-country he decides to move to in the future.

I don't know what more we could have done to try to win this election. Maybe if I hadn't suspended my campaign to focus on daffodil collecting... but I digress. Every candidate makes mistakes, and I'm sure I made my share of them. But I won't spend a moment of the future regretting what might have been. Well, no longer than a fortnight, anyway.

This false campaign was and will remain the great horror of my life, and my heart is failing thanks to this experience, so I thank the Uncyclopedian community for giving me a fair hearing before deciding that anyone at all who isn't me, even Senator Codeine and my old friend Senator Mhaille, should have the honor of leading us to greener pastures ahead.

Today, I was a candidate for the highest office in the wiki I love so much. And tonight, I remain her servant. That is blessing enough for anyone, and I thank the people of Byers, Texas for forcing me to flee to it. Tonight, more than any night, I hold in my heart nothing but love for this wiki and for all its contributors, even BENSON, whether they supported me, or Senator Codeine, or both.

I wish Godspeed to the man who was my former co-anti-white-individual and will be my fearless, benevolent, and terrible leader. And I call on all Uncyclopedians, as I have often in this campaign, to not despair of our present difficulties, but to believe, always, in the promise and greatness of Uncyclopedia, because nothing is predictable here.

Uncyclopedians never quit. We never surrender. We never hide from history; we just make up history.

Finally, I'd just like to say FU, and may God FU. MAY GOD FU Uncyclopedia. May He FU all very much.--<<Bradmonogram.png>> 01:22, 8 November 2008 (UTC)

Modusoperandi

I didn't even vote for me. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 04:18, 8 November 2008 (UTC)

Oh shit! Neither did I! I knew I forgot something!--<<Bradmonogram.png>> 10:33, 8 November 2008 (UTC)
This is worse than our run for president. At this point, I'm starting to think that we're comically incompetent. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 22:14, 8 November 2008 (UTC)
Comically? I'm not laughing...--Sycamore (Talk) 22:16, 8 November 2008 (UTC)
Yes, but that only reflects poorly on you. Sir Modusoperandi Boinc! 23:08, 8 November 2008 (UTC)

And a word from the Jewish candidate

All those who didn't vote for me? Anti semitics. Aye Aye. Bastards. ~Jewriken.GIF 09:29, 9 November 2008 (UTC)

Can we call this vote to an end now?

And declare Mhaille, Codeine, Spang and MrN as the union leaders and move along with our lives? ~Jewriken.GIF 09:29, 9 November 2008 (UTC)

And Mordillo, I figure it would be better to have an odd number of representatives in case of differences of opinion, also we need a token Jew. -- Sir Mhaille Icons-flag-gb.png (talk to me)
Nice try Mordillo. You're in too... MrN MrN9000SouthParksmall.jpg 11:56, Nov 9
Yep, Mordillo's in as well. We need some kind of epic superhero collective name (think "Fantastic Four" but not so gay), I think that should be this administration's first order of business. That and establishing an offshore hush fund. -- Sir Codeine K·H·P·B·M·N·C·U·Bu. · (Harangue)
I vote fabulous five. And let's get on with this thing. • Spang • ☃ • talk • 17:35, 09 Nov 2008
Well, I think Enid Blyton would like the "Un-Famous Five", but yea... Let's get on with it. MrN MrN9000SouthParksmall.jpg 17:43, Nov 9
5 sounds good to me. ~Sir Rangeley Icons-flag-us.png GUN WotM UotM EGA +S (talk) 20:19, 9 November 2008 (UTC)

Cabal announcement

Email discussions have started between the five of us, and we shall endeavour to present you, the plebians, proles, great unwashed valued userbase with regular updates on what we're working on, and the state of any negotiations or discussions with Wikia as and when they happen. In the meanwhile, anyone with any specific concerns or suggestions is more than welcome to raise them on any of our talk pages and they will be addressed by the cabal; I feel very strongly that we are not your leaders but your representatives, and the formation of this group is to simplify and centralise the processes involved in the future of the wiki, not to dictate policy. Now shut up and get back to work before we set the punishment squads loose on you. -- Sir Codeine K·H·P·B·M·N·C·U·Bu. · (Harangue)

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