HowTo:Be bored

Being bored is boring. However we don't know what exactly causes boredom, until recently scientists uncovered on what you are about to read. And it's useless unless you want to be bored.

Step 1

Sit down

Find a chair and plop your ass down. Do homework. Write an essay. Watch Court T.V. or The Gilmore Girls, do whatever it takes to put you to sleep. But don't sleep. However if you want to be really bored skip to Step 2.

Remember... only boring people.

Step 1.5

Ask your mom for some money. She will probably point out to you some of the work which needs to be done around the house. Just thinking about actually doing any of that stuff will probably bore you to death.

Step 2

Do Nothing

Since sleep will deprive you from being completely bored, keep your eyes open. Stare at a wall or ceiling or something. Keep doing it for an extended time. Don't do anything at all or you will not be bored unless it's more homework. To increase boredom think about things that would be fun to do that you can't do, this may be because of lack of money or friends.

Step 3

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Do More of Nothing

(Actually watch the lord of rings trilogy, memorise and resite the words until you are hallucinating.Reccomended by Al Gore.

Step 4.5

Tell your dad you are not going to get a job when you grow up. This will get you an instant lecture. Blissfully boring.

Step 5

Start saying: "I'M a jackass, I'M a jackass,I'M a jackass,I'M a jackass,I'M a jackass,I'M a jackass,I'M a jackass,I'M a jackass,I'M a jackass,I'M a jackass,I'M a jackass,I'M a jackass,I'M a jackass,I'M a jackass,I'M a jackass,I'M a jackass,I'M a jackass,I'M a jackass,I'M a jackass,I'M a jackass,I'M a jackass,I'M a jackass,I'M a jackass,I'M gay,I'M a jackass,I'M a jackass,I'M a jackass,I'M a jackass,I'M a jackass,I'M a jackass,I'M a jackass,I'M a jackass,I'M a jackass,I'M a jackass,I'M a jackass,I'M a jackass,I'M a jackass,I'M a jackass,I'M a jackass,I'M a jackass,I'M a jackass,I'M a jackass,I'M a jackass,I'M a jackass,I'M a jackass,I'M a jackass,I'M a jackass,I'M a jackass,I'M a jackass,I'M a jackass,I'M a jackass, I'M a jackass,I'M a jackass,I'M a jackass,I'M a jackass,I'M a jackass,I'M a jackass,I'M a jackass,I'M a jackass,I'M a jackass,I'M a jackass,I'M a jackass,I'M a jackass,I'M a jackass,I'M a jackass,I'M a jackass,I'M a jackass,I'M a jackass,I'M a jackass,I'M a jackass,I'M a jackass,I'M a jackass,I'M a jackass,I'M a jackass,I'M a jackass,I'M a jackass,I'M a jackass,I'M a jackass,I'M a jackass,I'M a jackass,I'M a jackass ".

This should make you more bored. However, it is not recommended for some people because you might get enjoyment from this. If this happens, this would not be classified as boredom and you have failed. Please start from Step 1 again, and again if need be.

Step 6

Refuse to break up with your girlfriend. Or tell somebody to break up with theirs. And then sing a song about it. Yeah, yeah.

End

Now you're bored. Nothing to do. Now you die of boredom. Repeat steps 4 and 5 if you want to follow these steps more.

Other alternatives:

Talk to your mother (guaranteed or your money back); Watch Jeopardy for four hours; Count and record the number of dust particles in your room; Watch Titanic and actually pay attention; Try to enlist as many Pokemons as you can...If you are not a Pokemon freak; Watch all of the Barbie movies in a day.

Actions of Life and Death

Begin • Be born • Live • Travel • Sleep • Dream • Awake • Work • Play • Have Fun • Love
Kill • Go to Jail • Escape • Be bored • Procrastinate • Die • Go to the cemetery • End