HowTo:Make Shitty BASIC programs

Requirements for this shitty unbook:

1. A working BASIC-activated computer.
2. A BASIC cassette tape or floppy disk for your BASIC-activated computer
3. A working modern computer (as every BASIC-actiavted computer was made when the internet didn't exist or was hard to implement)
4. A brain (your brain is recommended)
5. Free time
6. Eyes...
7. ...and pretty much anything else needed to read this book

Chapter 1: Load up BASIC (for your cassette tape)

First, turn on your BASIC-activated computer and then eject your cassette deck and then put your tape in. Close the deck and rewind the tape (if it isn't rewound). Insert your floppy disk (if applicable), type LOAD (or press C if you are running a computer like the MZ80B) and press Play on your cassette drive. (Or, alternatively, listen to the program on your cassette drive with an audio cassette player for fun. It sounds remarkably like a modem.) Once finished, rewind the tape and take it out. If you are using a VIC-20, a Commodore 64, a TRS-80, or a computer made before there was such a thing as a BIOS, you don't even have to load BASIC on a disk, it comes hard-wired into the computer.

Chapter 1.5: Load up BASIC (for your floppy disk)

First, turn on your BASIC-activated computer and then eject your floppy drive to check if there is a disk in it. If there is take it out, if there isn't put your disk in. If you took out a disk, put your BASIC in it. Reboot your computer (or press F if you are running a computer like the MZ80B which has a cassette deck and floppy drive) and wait for it to load. Once finished, take the disk out.

Chapter 2: Program #1

Now let's type our first Shitty program.

Type the following code

10 PRINT "UR MOM"; 20 GOTO 10 Your screen should fill up with UR MOM. Press BREAK (or SHIFT+BREAK if you have a computer like the MZ80K) On older (1995 or earlier) IBM computers, CTRL-C should do the trick.

Chapter 3: Program #2

• Step One: Find an old programming magazine from the 1980's. These usually have BASIC programs written for you in them.
• Step Two: Type the program into your computer from the magazine.
• Step Three: Run the program. Get error message.
• Step Four: Try to debug the program. Return to step 3. If frustrated, go to step Five.
• Step Five: Realize that the program was written for a different operating system than the one you are using (there were more than ten operating systems used on different computers during the 80's) so not all the BASIC commands work the same, nor even work on your computer.
• Step Six: Go look at your computer/BASIC software manual instead of reading this.
• Step Seven: Come back next week for Book 2 in the series, How To Make Crappy 8-bit Sprites.