Uncyclopedia:DYK submissions/Archive 3

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... that I have a pseudopenis?
...Smoking is Gay?
...that you are reading this in the Did you know section on the Main Page (in the rare event that this actually ends up there)?
...too much winking off can make you blind?
...Wearing a face mask prevents AIDS from sex?
...you're probably trapped inside of a Geico commercial?
...the first thing you should do after you win the lottery is to buy a gun?
...Jesus is ignoring your prayer right now?
...mixing bleach and gin makes gin-flavored bleach?
...The odds of Martha Stewart baking you for her next dessert is never zero?
...the only cure to depression is just to not be sad?
...that repeating the same DYK twice on the front page makes the admins look like fools?
...Smoking weed prevents HIV and Corona Virus
...More people own Wii Play than Scurvy?
...Female Vampires are hornier than female werewolves
...Donald Trump is the first orange President of the Unites States of America.
...Never trust a Dutchman in a Tulip fight
...that your teacher is a jar of Mayonnaise in disguise, waiting to spread their Mayo all over you like a piece of bread?
...that if you lose your train of thought, it means you lose all of your memories, except how to breathe?
...that doctors could kill you at any moment, but they just don't feel like doing it today?
...that your submission is gonna end up like the rest of us?
...scientists just finished reading the dictionary and confirm the zygote did it?
...words are very powerful - pick them good.
...it can take over steven dyslexics to change a light bulb?
...most prostitutes in Manchester have a wigan address?
...the saying "an apple a day keeps the doctor away" is just one of Granny's myths?
...if World War III starts, we have to wait a couple of years to fight World War IV, which according to Albert Einstein, will be fought with sticks and stones?
...Killer Queen has already touched that doorknob?
...nukes don't explode?
...such thing as a 1-year format clock exists?
...sometimes, I wonder what My "Ctrl" key does?
...genderless people do not have a Sexual Orientation?
...there is no such thing as 72 genders, as those identify as mutation monsters?
...some users use Anonymous as a pseudonym for their unbooks/poems because they're too Lazy to create a fake name?
...that <insert name here> has won the most awards for Worst Person on the entire Internet?
The angel number 911 is a highly spiritual number. If you keep seeing 911, it's a call for you to follow your divine life calling... The angel number 911 indicates that you are moving closer to the completion of your goals, and you are also nearing the end of a cycle in your life.
...⸮ϱniɈƨɘɿɈni ϱniʜɈon lɒɘvɘɿ oɈ ,ƨbɿow ɘƨɘʜɈ ɿoɿɿim oɈ ɘɔɒqƨ ɒɈɒb bnɒ ,γϱɿɘnɘ ɿυうぷしろんoγがんま ,ɘmiɈ ɿυうぷしろんoγがんま bɘɈƨɒw υうぷしろんoγがんま ɈɒʜɈ
...that butt-dialing 911 out of hilariousness will result in the FBI breaking into your house because you watched too much Loli Hentai?
...child soldiers are just adults who have the stupid mentality of a 6-year-old retard?
...actions speaking louder than words is a funny way of saying that guns make more sound than screams?
...your parents never wanted to make you, although they decided to make you anyways out of love?
...that if you think you're retarded, you should always remember there are people who think the earth is flat?
...the earth is round, although my grandma's IQ dropped to the IQ of 50, and thinks the earth is flat?
...that Donald Trump's username in Uncyclopedia is <insert name here>?
...That to Hyperlink all Words so as to link A Sentence but all words hyperlink somewhere new as to be like a adventure of uncyclopedia exploring forest, mountains, the wide reaches of space and kitten huffing Is a Great Waste Of Time.
That Wokeism is actually a masquerade to a Totalitarian society
...that you knew something for the first time in your god damn life?
...that I have won multiple awards for being the most unimportant person in this life, and you are the runner up?
...that someday, you will die, but God doesn't really want to tell you when?
...snapping your fingers will kill 50% of the universe's population, although this only occurs in another universe?
...that in an alternative universe, you identify as a different gender?
...that shipping yourself with yourself in a hardcore sex fan-fiction story is just you masturbating in the "cock and ball torture" way?
...that people who don't believe in gravity are flat earthers, meaning they have an IQ of -489321874238748723874789239847?
...that there was no effort put in this "Did You Know?" submission?
...that religion is just a rule list so you'll stop fucking around?
...that nobody cares about the new, stupid article that you just created, and that it will likely be deleted by Lemony Snicket?
...that I happen to like the new article that you just created, and that that guy is wrong?
...that it's my birthday today? Didn't think you did, everyone forgot.
...that Donald Trump worked in a bar and got his nickname DJ Trump?
...that ice is water, when you walk on it, you are Jesus.
...Blind people just didn't buy the sight DLC
...that Dihydrogen monoxide is inside of you
...that you should not put an ice pop inside you vagina to cool down
...that Usain Bolt can stop time by running really fast opposite the Earth's rotation?
...that parentheses in song titles are technically illegal? MrX blow me 17:16, 7 May 2020 (UTC)
...you are connected to the internet right now?
...every decision you've ever made has led you to read this stupid fucking fact?
...the reason your flight is delayed is because it's stuck behind migrating geese?
...that Carrie Nation was a freedom fighter?
... everyone hates you and you should just stop ? Feohrad FOLLY! 20:16, 19 May 2020 (UTC)
...that Adolf Hitler was a phytosadist? MrX blow me 22:03, 27 May 2020 (UTC)
...that Harvey Weinstein is the sexiest man alive? MrX blow me 22:00, 1 June 2020 (UTC)
...about the difficult process of making the close equivalent of a perfect sandwich?
... that Mario's Head was disembodied
The disney movie tangled is all about Rapunzel teasing guys with her feet all day hoping some guy will watch her suck her toes?
... that I can do literally no wrong?
...that there are only two kingdoms in the domain Sugria, Candae and Pastricia?
...that there is no need to support Uncyclopedia to stop Oscar Wilde dying again, as threatened in some of its extortionist advertisements, as, by definition, the immortal Oscar Wilde can never die?
... that Wikipedia and Uncyclopedia are not worth the paper they're not written on?
... that 2020 had a catastrophic hurricane season? No wonder it was so crappy! Gale5050 complain about me! And see my Wikipedia contributions! 18:37, 23 January 2021 (UTC)
... that Basking Sharks have a liver that weighs about 2.2 tons, meaning that you couldn't pick it up?
... that impact font memes were never funny? -WohMi, the best damn duelist on this website (talk)
...that <insert name here> is a stupid bastard?
...that Interstate 95 will probably never become a featured article.
...that Algeria is not real?
...that time is slowly slipping away?

Uncyclopedia:DYK submissions/Archive 3

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