Uncyclopedia:Conservation Week

Each tree in Uncyclopedia's forest is an article. Some are big. Others are small. Still others have Dutch Elm Disease. Please spray these trees before they evolve sentience and try to kill the shit out of us all.

Got a sense of humor? Or a bootleg DVD of Alvin and the Chipmunks? Want to put it to good use? Rewrite-a-thon or Conservation Week is a two week period in which users will concentrate their efforts on fixing up random articles rather than creating new articles, making Uncyclopedia a better place for all. This way, we can clean up our site while still being able to gloat about our article count and circle jerk with pride. The users who do the most rewrites below get a prestigious award for Uncyclopedia which we will call the the Greasy Mechanic Award, because, just like a grease-covered man repairing cars one muffler at a time, you are repairing Uncyclopedia one article at a time. Although, this implies that Uncyclopedia breaks down from time to time, which is not in the least true. Uncyclopedia is like a well oiled machine, that needs a little more oil in its well.

Conservation Week is held twice every year - Once from September 15th to September 30th, and then March 1st through March 15th. Or in that general area. We're pretty laid back about timelines and stuff like that. You know, stuff that isn't trees. And by 'trees' we mean 'articles'.

Just a few obvious rules to go through:

1. Make your rewrite better than the article replaced before it, but try to include funny material from the old page, if it has any. This will help discourage noobs from reverting articles to their pre-rewrite state.
2. To help count toward your reward, you need to put your name and the articles that you rewrite over the course of two-week period.
3. Please, for easiness sake, use a numbered list for your articles so we can count everything that much easier, or add a score template with the number of articles and use a normal list.
4. To join, all you have to do is add a new section with your name and start rewriting articles. Place the {{Conserved}} template on your articles to ensure that they are not taken.

The Award | The complementary userbox

Rewriters

Conservation Week has begun. You have from Monday, October 26th, 2009, to 0:00 GMT November 16th, 2009 to rewrite as many articles as possible. Get to it!

Obama Guy

• Nintendo Pretty good, except that whoever created it forgot to make it funny. Done

Pelargonium

• Suryavarman II Might as well add this, since I do happen to be fixing it up at the moment. Done.
• Convenience store A little too random, as well as a lot of red links.
• Butter knife Good intro, but ends very listy. Can definitely be inproved on.

Black_flamingo11

1. Dogs - Done.
2. Robert De Niro - Done. Did I win?

Syndrome

• I am really cool. I'll do this before the deadline. Eh, forgot what I wanted to write about.
• Spleen For science!

Bad Shroom

I'll see if I can do this.

• Mario. Seriously, what a shithole this is.

Tyypo

i will get onto it right away.

• Basketball hoops meh, not that great.
• Stuff boy this article sucked before i helped it.
• Yao Ming done
• Vice City
• The Amazing Race. not strictly a re-write but i helped this article along so i give myself a point.
• Public transportation i still have some more things to add but it's looking really good.

Dexter111344

• Axe - Called it.

Why do I need to provide this?

1. HowTo:Be Homeless in America - This will give me an excuse to improve this. Done (although is anything here really done?)

Gerrycheevers

1. Ann Coulter - I'm all over it.
2. John Adams - co-rewriting with BlueSock
3. ? - i think it's time we addressed the terrible stubs on the keyboard template.

PuppyOnTheRadio

1. Street Fighter Featured
2. Daily News
3. Orthodox Monsterist Church
4. Love Featured
5. Beta
6. Karate Kid
7. Stereotype
8. Intelligent Math
9. User:PuppyOnTheRadio

A user page, really? ~

Jacques Pirat, Esq. Converse : Benefactions : U.w.p.

17/11/2009 @ 23:14

UU

• Jose Mourinho - already under way.
• Mike Cosgrove - already saved from VFD, now can I make this puppy sing? (Probably not, because I don't have time, but what the hey).

GlobalTourniquet

1. Rod Serling - done, see if you like it. (before CW for reference)
2. Nuclear holocaust - done, OK, let's try it. (before CW for reference)
3. The Shins - done. (before CW blah blah)
4. Rock and roll - done. (before); oh, also - I just discovered this after I rewrote the Rock and roll article. So I tried to find salvageable humor in it but I couldn't. It's been vandalized, cruft-infested and generally defaced badly over time, and I can't even tell if it ever was really OK. If there are no objections, I'll redirect it, unless the better tack is to VFD it. But I think a redirect to this new page is the right thing to do. -- GlobalTourniquet: UnAstrologer, UnJournalist, shameless narcissistic America-hating liberal atheist award-winning featured writer 19:12, November 12, 2009 (UTC) So, I just decided to be italic about this and do it. Whatever. -- GlobalTourniquet: UnAstrologer, UnJournalist, shameless narcissistic America-hating liberal atheist award-winning featured writer 04:11, November 15, 2009 (UTC)

BlueSock

• John Adams - Just take a look at the poor thing. It needs a complete rewrite.
• James Madison - Also needs a complete rewrite
• Thomas Jefferson - Embarrassingly enough, I got confused during the John Adams article, and began writing Jefferson's name and accomplishments. I just copied and pasted it all to the already existing Jefferson article which needed a rewrite, earning myself more work.

I see you skipped the United States' 17th president, George Washington. (Go on, somebody tell me I'm wrong and Washington was the first. I dare ya!) King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  19:29, November 4, 2009 (UTC)

Dude. Washington was the first president of the United States of America. Before him, the nation so named did not officially exist. Right? (oooo dare taken - now I get a Truth from you) -- GlobalTourniquet: UnAstrologer, UnJournalist, shameless narcissistic America-hating liberal atheist award-winning featured writer 20:23, November 4, 2009 (UTC)

No, Washington was the 17th president. That's an irrefutable fact. And if you try to refute it, then I can bring up the point that he shouldn't even be called president. First off, he never even stepped foot into the White House. Secondly, he was appointed by the other "Founding Fathers" to be president. He was never elected. MegaPleb • Dexter111344 • Complain here 20:26, November 4, 2009 (UTC)

OK, so more correctly, the nation did exist before Washington, but he was still the first "President of the United States". Those other 16 lame-ass posers before him were called President of the Continental Congress, which is like, oh, look at me. I'm a president. No, you're not. Shut up and fade anonymously into history, dweeb. Go George! -- GlobalTourniquet: UnAstrologer, UnJournalist, shameless narcissistic America-hating liberal atheist award-winning featured writer 20:28, November 4, 2009 (UTC)

Say, either you dudes are pretty knowledgeable, or you know how to look up things on Wikipedia. That's why I said he was the United States' 17th president, and did not say he was the "17th President of the United States." The second's an official title, the first isn't. Also he was elected. I know, because I voted for him. Back in my day, you either knew something or you didn't. You didn't have this damn Internet so you could cheat. Damn Internet! King of the Internet Alden Loveshade??? (royal court)  03:42, November 5, 2009 (UTC)

So then he wouldn't have been the United States' 17th president because I would say that more than likely there would have been presidents of local Freemasons group and Illuminati and football clubs and the like. In fact he would be lucky really to be classed within the first 100 by that measure. Thus sayeth the Australian with no American history knowledge. Pup

NOTE: If I can manage to get both of these up to a usable state again, I'll just keep moving down the list of Presidents. Most of the articles I've even glanced over seem to be in need of a major rewrite.

Miley Spears

• Jamie Lynn Spears -- this was getting so-so votes on VFH, I want to make it featurable. Done
• Pedobear -- making the bear more bearable.
• PETA -- Cleaning up the animals' mess.

CheddarBBQ

• Just figured I'd throw my name on here. Not so sure I'll actually get one done though...
• User:CheddarBBQ/racism. I'm gonna do it. Trust me. I can get it done. When's it due? Shit. Well there's no way it'll be done by the 16th...

Guildensternenstein

• Carnies (was going to be my PLS entry for "Best Rewrite", but I never even got to starting it) (Update: done!)

Rogpyvbc

• 0BC - 0AD. Steamrollering complete. Done Slithy Tove 05:01, November 5, 2009 (UTC)

Reverse Genocide Cockatrices

1. Red vs. Blue Finished. --Reverse Genocide Cockatrices 06:46, November 5, 2009 (UTC)

Matfen815

1. Obi-Wan Kenobi - Done --Matfen 00:13, November 6, 2009 (UTC)
2. Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith - Done A theme, it appears we have. hmmmmmmm. --Matfen 12:29, November 9, 2009 (UTC)
3. Keanu Reeves - Done Whoa... the Star Wars theme is broken, dude! --Matfen 22:37, November 10, 2009 (UTC)
4. Xbox - Done This article was asking for it. --Matfen 13:08, November 13, 2009 (UTC)
5. Leonidas - Done --Matfen 18:12, November 16, 2009 (UTC)

InMooseWeTrust

1. Global warming I actually know enough science to completely refute global warming, but I don't know how much that will be useful.

Happytimes

1. Cat - Done (for now) - I might as well get credit for it.
2. User:Happytimes Done (enough for now) - And also related pages. (It need to be done anyway & no one else was doing it.)
3. Chocolate cake - Done - Dad is great...
4. Uncyclopedia:Conservation Week - Done? - Not only did I compete but I spell checked it too.
5. Fish - trying to make it more fishy.
6. Anything <insert name here> suggests on my talkie page. No really; it's what I mainly do here. Check my contra-but-ions if you don't believe in me. (Or Santa.) Slaving away for my own amusement. It makes me happy. Ah, Happytimes!

i get a mention. it's like Kobe Bryant all over again --Tyypo 13:23, November 10, 2009 (UTC)

Do I get a big diamond ring then?!?  ~ Avast Matey!!! Happytimes are here!*  (talk) (stalk) Πぱい   ~  ~  18:49, November 11, 2009 (UTC)

Hiatus Hernia

1. Perth - I'm giving this a go, although, knowing my work rate, I might not complete it in time.

great. that article is funny but in bad shape. it desperately needs a re-write --Tyypo 07:59, November 14, 2009 (UTC)

Dreamgor

1. Ben 10 I got a few ideas for this article. this will be my first rewrite. canceled I'm out of time and i didn't read well enough to realize my edit wouldn't work.

Archives

Last CW 2007 (Winners: THE and One-eyed Jack) • First CW 2008 (Winners: Pandora. and THE) • Last CW 2008 (Winners: Dexter111344 and Mrmonkey72) • First CW 2009 (Winners: Gerrycheevers, Guildensternenstein, and JackOfSpades)