America is the best!!!

America is the best!!! Sure, some say, America has an unjustified War on Terror, a stupid president, and Reaganomics, but even those don't change the fact that America is quite possibly the best country ever. Don't believe me? Take for instance the country's shape. Doesn't Florida look like a penis? And everyone knows that penises are what make men men, so therefore America not only has a 497-mile long chubby (and therefore the manliest country ever, Asia's Indian penis is longer, but that's a continent), but it also makes America the best country ever. I'm pretty sure that with Florida, America can dickslap Europe right in the face.

Why America is the best

Music

American music is the greatest ever. For example, Mötley Crüe, according to Wikipedia, is a big influence in the realm of Heavy Metal. In fact, Americans invented Heavy Metal. Oh wait, that was the British with Black Sabbath. Still, American music is great. Remember The Beatles? Yeah, that was us. What? You say The Beatles were British? Fuck! Well, how about Queen? Those guys sound really American! What? Dammit! America still has the best music though!

Government

The American system of government is totally original and awesome. For example, checks and balances. Genius? Yes. And we sure as hell didn't steal that concept from the bloddy English! Also, bicameral legislature is American. Nothing to say about that!

What?

It's copied from the English?