Uncyclopedia:Five pliers

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All of Uncyclopedia's 28 official pets and 35 arbitrary decisions are based on five pliers that pinch Uncyclopedia's character. These can be described as follows:

	Uncyclopedia is an anti-encyclopaedia incorporating elements of general encyclopaedias, specialised encyclopaedias, and almanacs and basically turning them on their head. Uncyclopedia is not a mere collection of scripts from your favourite sitcom or Monty Python, nor a soapbox, newspaper, free host or web-space provider, vanity article or memorial collection, experiment in anarchy or democracy, or a grouping of links (whether internal or external).
	Uncyclopedia uses the "Satirical point-of-view": Write from a satirical, witty standpoint. A sense of proportion greatly aids in this, especially on controversial topics, and makes an article even funnier. When a conflict arises as to what version is the most amusing, be nice: hammer out your opponents on the talk page and avoid flamewars.
	Uncyclopedia is content-free: Uncyclopedia is content-free, licensed under the Creative Commons BY-NC-SA license and may be freely distributed and linked by all un-comrades. Recognise that articles are owned by the community at large and not by a single person or group so that any writing you contribute can be mercilessly edited and redistributed at will by the community. Because much of it is parody, Uncyclopedia is not quite as restrictive about copyright as Wikipedia but still kinda sorta wants you to acknowledge where you have stolen from by using the {{spork}} template for instance.
	Be civil and constructive: Respect your fellow Uncyclopedians even when they are (rarely) not being dicks. Avoid making personal attacks, but sweeping generalisations are encouraged as long as you annoy everyone. Be responsible when the editing gets hot. We don't follow the three-revert rule; remember that there are 37,692 articles on the English Uncyclopedia to work on and discuss. Don't use sockpuppets (except for, well, <ahem>, uh ... you know), and if you are still an IP user, create an account. Be devious, cold hearted, and above all, be funny.
	Praise Sophia besides the four general principles elucidated above. We are fairly free and easy here, but the Cruft Patrol can be merciless; if your page is deleted, find out why and make sure your next page is funny! If you've been banned, don't do it again. If it's an honest mistake, you can try to contact people some of the admins on the Uncyclopedia mailing list, although they reserve the right to unban you, immediately ban you again to crush your dreams even more, and then tell you to piss off if you've been a dick. If all else fails, there are things you're supposed to be doing instead of visiting Uncyclopedia.

See also

• Uncyclopedia:Consensus
• Uncyclopedia:Community Portal
• Pages linked from Help:Contents
• Uncyclopedia:FAQ and Uncyclopedia:AFAQ
• Uncyclopedia:Deletion Policy
• Uncyclopedia:Ban Policy
• Uncyclopedia:What Uncyclopedia is not
• Uncyclopedia:Ignore all rules
• Uncyclopedia:Create an account
• Uncyclopedia:Why create an account?
• Help:Why create an account?