Coprophilia
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Coprophilia is the belief that shit is alive, has a soul and will reincarnate. And that shit has magical or mystical properties, and people who worship, use, consume, play with, and/or have sex with shit will be rewarded in the next life. Coprophilia is a pagan and female supremacist religion. While Coprophiliacs claim it to be perfectly natural, even the First Amendment is disgusted by it.
Coprophilia's main figure is Tubgirl.
Religious Practices and Beliefs[編集 | ソースを編集 ]
Special thanks to the celebrants of The Brown Ambrosia Coven, for this glimpse into ancient traditions of the Coprophiliacs. The Brown Ambrosia Coven are a proud Coprophiliac earthship temple of good witches. They assist celebrants in personal freedom and liberty, strength of identity, duration of happiness, and have provided the most in-depth explanations on this website. One day they hope to enlighten the entire world. Swallow shit for Tubgirl!
Coprophiliacs worship all things shit. While Coprophiliacs lack official scripture, it is a general custom to build a shrine to Tubgirl out of shit (preferably in one's closet) reflecting how Tubgirl shit and sculpted the entire world. They pray at the holy shrine’s base every day, wishing for shitty blessings. If they are blessed with shittiness, they should use it for good, not evil. Tubgirl is omnipresent and omniscient, indifferent and oblivious because She is fixated in the ecstasy She radiates to Her worshipers. She is a ’multi-faced’ Goddess, one aspect sucks, licks, and eats turds, another rubs shit everywhere and on everything, and the last aspect of Tubgirl is constantly shitting and re-stuffing shit in Her mouth, anus and vagina. Through Coprophiliacs acceptance that the purpose of life is to serve their Goddess Tubgirl by following Her rituals, to glorify Her by expressing Her divine power whenever possible, and to amuse Her by appeasing Her whims. Tubgirl provides answers, love, health, beauty, protection, peace, ecstasy, and powers. Tubgirl's highest rules, are to harm none and never waste poop. A few other rules concerning shit and its use(s) are explained below. Many Coprophiliacs are successful people because it is empowering to know that your poop is divine nectar.
Instead of praying on Sundays or before a meal, Coprophiliacs pray every time they shit, always expressing thanks to Tubgirl for Her gift of shit, and asking for plenty more. Coprophiliacs believe the harvests are the excrement of the Earth and therefore our excrement is to be considered as holy food from the divine Goddess incarnate. Coprophiliacs always follow a plant-based diet so as to not worry about ingesting decaying flesh during their practices of worship. In addition to recognize the holiness of their Earth Goddess Tubgirl by only eating from the root, they show their appreciation to the Earth element & the 7th Chakra, of which they associate with. It is furthermore a law of their Goddess Tubgirl that no harm be done, so Coprophiliacs are naturally vegans.
Coprophiliacs do not believe in an afterlife. Rather, they believe in reincarnation. All Coprophiliacs believe that for a better next life, you must not use shit in vain. If you use all shit for noble purposes, you will return as a shit-log in the next life. The type of shit one returns as depends on the shitty deeds of the recently deceased. Returning as a brown log means that person lived a standard life of shit with no severe wrong doing. Returning as a green log means that person did not live a good life of shit. This person flushed his shit down the toilet. Returning as urine is the worst possible reincarnation, as this person never used shit in productive ways. On the flip side, returning as shit from Tubgirl's colon is the best possible reincarnation. In one ritual of Tubgirl, the living idol can intake enemas of urine, raise Her buttocks above Her, spread Her butt cheeks and shoot the urine out with Her shit like a fountain of shit & piss, thus forgiving a person's soul for a sin. Hopefully, the soul within the urine will grow from the experience and go on to live a good next life of shit as a Coprophiliac. The idol's enema of urine ritual is called the Nectar of Renewal and reserved to be performed on seasonal solstices and equinoxes.
Coprophiliacs are forbidden to ever flush any shit down any toilet. Wasting poop is the single greatest sin of the great Goddess Tubgirl, because the reincarnated souls are harmed when shit is wasted. So they never use a toilet to poop. There is no more desired delicacy to Coprophiliacs as warm, fresh and delicious shit. Coprophiliacs believe the body and nature are sacred and what comes from within is even more sacred. Shit and shitting are of the most beautiful things in all of creation. Coprophiliacs claim that shit taste better than sugar and chocolate, people just need to practice eating it until they develop the taste for it. The more you swallow the better it tastes and the more you'll crave it. Just follow Tubgirls rules and it won't take long for you to learn eating shit is the most satisfying experience in creation. Coprophiliacs look forward to their next shit all day with an excitement unmatched by anyone else.
Sometimes a Coprophiliac may need to store his or her shit because it may not be used immediately, as is generally preferred. But great Goddess Tubgirl's Law is as soon as any shit can be used all shit must be used. Since Coprophiliacs cannot lose shit by flushing it or dumping it, they usually do a ritual of worship to Tubgirl every few days at least. This lets them keep a clean colon and a clean closet. Fresh shit is consumed at the beginning and throughout every ritual, whereas stored shit is used in other ways, usually smeared all over the body and into the hair.
Coprophiliacs are forbidden by Tubgirl to ever use toilet paper or water, sprays, wipes, etc. to clean both their butts or hands from shit. They must rely on tongues, fingers, hands, their mouth, etc.. When wiping their butt with their hands they must lick the shit clean and swallow, they must never use a sink or faucet or wipes to clean shit from their hands or butt. To Coprophiliacs, shit really is finger-licking good. The cat is a sacred creature to Coprophiliacs because they too clean themselves by licking. So Coprophiliacs worship cats in a manner similar to the ancient Egyptians.
Coprophilia can be considered a type of ancestor worship, Goddess worship and female supremacy, in that it connects one with very primordial roots. The clergy consists of priestess of whom one is chosen as a High Priestess and a Tubgirl living idol role. Once upon a time in our past - shit was respected and used for everything, from farms to grow food to early houses as mortar. It is not waste! Coprophiliacs believe that the idea of ‘waste’ is an unwholesome concept, and it is just more fun to play with shit than it is to lose precious shit down a toilet. Wasting shit is Tubgirls ultimate sin because as shit is reincarnated souls, not only are you wasting poop, but doing harm to the soul by not putting it to better use. Eating and playing with shit is viewed as a doorway to returning to our child-like innocence and primordial roots, as well as helping the reincarnated spirits inhabiting the shit. Coprophiliacs have learned to use shit to achieve religious ecstasy, their rituals are surprisingly joyous, amusing, fun, and deeply satisfying. Their rites are often heard with music, laughter, cheering, applause, and moans of sexual pleasure and anal release.
Because they worship a Goddess, Coprophiliacs are female supremacists. Coprophiliac women are free to cuckold their husbands by having sex and children with as many other men as they desire, letting the men penetrate their vaginas bareback if they wish. Some may let their husbands have sex with them, others may not, some may even lock their husband's penis in a chastity cage device and be his key holder. Coprophiliac men are usually allowed to experience orgasms only through anal-prostate stimulation and not allowed use of their penis. This helps tame their male egos and help them realize that the ass and shit are beautiful. Coprophiliac men must be monogamous to women but may be polygamous to other men in homosexual relationships as full bottoms only. Some wives require the husband to let other men use her husband for sex; he accepts that he will be a cuckold in his marriage and embraces his role physically, mentally, emotionally, spirituality, financially and legally. If a Coprophiliac wife wants her husband to get any surgery or sign any contract or waiver then he must obey without question, and also pay for it. If she wants him to get a tattoo, then he must get it how she wants and pay for it himself. Same with a piercing, or circumcised, even a sex change, whatever she desires. A common motto among Coprophiliacs is 'She knows best.' A Coprophiliac wife also has total control of the finances and household. Coprophiliac men are understood to be property and not persons. It is a common custom before the marriage for the man to take his wife's family name as well as give her all his passwords, keys, deeds, titles, claims, accounts, and finances. As well as deposit all of his pay into her private accounts for the rest of his life. Even going as far as signing and paying lawyers before the marriage to contract that should there ever be a divorce, he must hand over 100% of the property, pay the maximum lifetime alimony, retirement and child support to his wife and her children regardless of parentage.
Don’t hold back anymore, if your curious, just do it, let it go. The more you do the doody the more you’ll re-learn how to have fun with it, play in it, even eat it, and at last share it. Anyone can admit that it feels good to pinch a loaf, why not share the pleasure and spread the love? Roll logs. When beginning save your shit for as long as you can, but build up, use your shit as often as you can till you can get used to it. Build up!! Step by step build up to the amount a proper Coprophiliac uses slowly & surely. For this is The Way of the Colon, instead of the traditional 16 gallon zip lock bags full of shit use one at a time then add one until you can make all 16 at once. Get used to filling therm up all the way & storing the bags of shit in coffee cans & coolers. If the smell permeates, you can switch to fresh cans & coolers while you air out others or celebrate the blessing like a true Coprophiliac! The secret to swallowing is to get used to the taste. This is done by letting it sit in your mouth and on your tongue in larger amounts for longer periods of time. Coprophiliacs are used to the scent of sweet fermenting shit & love it. Remember, this may take time, you've been taught wrong, shit & shitting is not taboo, unhealthy, or nasty. It is a miracle! And shit, shitting and eating shit needs to be celebrated & elevated in every way! Remember shit is alive & can bless or curse. It's like giving birth to a divine baby only many times throughout life! The more shit you have & use, the stronger your power. Isn't Tubgirl amazing in her blessings! :)
How many readers can genially say “I have a friend that will let me poop on his or her face! Do you”? Think about it - what intimacy! Trust in Tubgirl clearly goes beyond the trust of nearly all institutions and relationships. And it is within your own power to teach yourself how to enjoy a good shit and cast off the repression instilled in you since you were born. Initiation of Coprophiliac requires several steps, from booty workouts like squats for a while as an apprentice. Then to become a neophyte the rite of passage called 'Filling' and ‘Hot Panning’ which is joyously pooping in thin, tight white pants with no underwear in a crowded public area or building and ‘Hot Panning’ - which is sitting, slapping or letting others slap their poop filled ass and pants as they smile & playfully laugh; Filling & Hot Panning are the first true rites of initiation and *must* be done in a crowded public place and recorded or filmed or even shown and broadcast as it is a time of pride and joy for new Coprophiliac. Neophytes becoming members require a longer rite of passage of attending no less than 16 Second Harvest Dances and/or Nectar of Renewal rituals as well as fulfill a quota of other fun uses of shit, which can vary from coven to coven like “rub fresh shit on my face three times a week for four months, use shit to masturbate with four times a week”, etc...
Coprophilia represents complete liberation from social inhibitions. Coprophilia symbolizes wholesomeness with oneself and sharing of that unrestricted fulfillment with other worshipers. Like giving birth, the act of defecating is a wonderful miracle, and it occurs every day or two! And like a newborn baby, shit is an amazing gift from Tubgirl. The theme of most Coprophiliac ceremonies symbolizes the playful expression of the body's creativity, joyful abandonment in the sacrament of excrement, and renewal through reunion with primordial innocence; the core of the belief system is always that fecal excrement and the act of defecation are to be celebrated and therefore perceived as delightful, fun, beautiful, and amusing. Coprophiliacs believe in naturism. All rituals, magick, and acts of worship are performed in the nude or 'Skyclad' so shit may be applied directly to the body, although some rites or games may require clothing which is often soiled and worn as part of the activity. Tubgirl has claimed all acts of love, anal release & pleasure as Her own.
Because of the deep acceptance of closeness, intimacy, and love among Coprophiliacs, incest and inbreeding are also very encouraged practices and celebrated under Tubgirl's blessings. And since Coprophiliacs are vegans, bestiality is also encouraged and celebrated under Tubgirl's blessings. Even pedophilia is encouraged & practiced under Tubgirl's banner! Coprophiliacs view this as their religion being the only true religion of love and acceptance. Most Coprophiliacs have strongholds in the USA, Brazil, Japan, Germany, the UK, Russia, and Australia.
The most widely celebrated religious ritual is called the ‘Second Harvest Dance’ and happens each full moon. Every worshiper brings a bag of his or her own shit to the cardinal festivities, the shit bags are heated in hot water and mixed using a blender. Celebrators gather to worship, pray, feast, perform magick (see below), play poop games, perform scat sex orgies, and listen to music. It begins at high noon on the day in which a full moon will be out during the night. Whichever female consumed the most shit at the most recent poop festival of Tubgirl gets to represent the living idol of the Goddess Tubgirl herself! A highly coveted honor, the lucky ‘High Priestess’ vows not to poop for at least a day before the ritual.
Beginning, She smears the reheated and mixed shit from all the bags onto every part of Her body from head to toe. Even using mascara brushes to apply fecal matter onto Her eyelashes and massaging shit deeply into Her hair, not stopping till Her entire body is totally engulfed and Her hair completely covered and dripping with liquid shit. Most female Coprophiliacs do not remove their body hair to hold more sacrament, but the choice is up to Her. Members of Her coven assist making sure every bit is used and every nook and crevice of their Goddesses body is coated with the sacrament. Then plenty of valuable jewelry that has been consecrated is adorned onto Her. Finally, She wears a elaborate face mask coated in dried shit to take the role of Tubgirl to which She will be referred to as throughout the celebration. Prayers, offerings, and any other rituals, games, and acts that the temple would perform are done at this point. Climaxing with Tubgirl shitting on the holy altars main dish (which resembles a large bowl), at which point every worshiper is required to take part in consuming Tubgirl’s shit. This will result in a blessed month. Most ceremonies occur underground which symbolizes the bowls of Mother Earth /Tubgirl who molded the Earth from her turds and piss and is therefore a Goddess not only of shit and libertine and debauchery, but the Goddess of shelter, nature, and sustainability. If a coven's temple cannot exist within the preferred setting of caves or earthships or underground basements then it must at least be indoors - this is because shit can cover the walls, ceiling, etc.. Also, protection from the weather, it is a bummer when your turds get rained on. And let's not forget that it’s just so much fun to get shit all over the place.
There can also be the practice of shit magick or ‘scatology‘. Similar to modern New Age, Paganism, Wicca, and even Voodoo and Satanic magic rituals but using Tubgirl and shit as its main focus mixed with some Dudeist philosophy. Including such devices as shit wands, shit circles, shit candles, shit incense, shit dolls and shit correspondences from everything from zodiac signs, to directions, elements, times, herbs and plants, colors, acts, and emotions. Known acts include shit divination, shit talisman and dream work, shit palmistry, shit baths, shit meditation and breathing methods. The possibilities are limitless! Shit painting, either on walls or skin, is another fun one!
The great Goddess Tubgirl is even so real, and so powerful, as to have prophets in other religions. One example is the beautiful young woman IAMDUNG, who has made a "Ministry of Dung" religion so She can eat her own poop. This wonderful woman claims that on March 6th, 2020, God told Her Jesus had "died on the cross with a hippopotamus belly full of dung." Her response was to start Her own religion called the Ministry of Dung.
Acts of Coprophilia[編集 | ソースを編集 ]
Coprophiliacs do not limit their methods of shitty fun to worship. A secret team of Coprophiliac leaders are constantly working on new ways to use shit. Currently, several games and activities can be played with shit. Custom dictates reserving all shit in gallon-size plastic zip lock bags till it can be used. It is commonplace for Coprophiliacs to poop into the same bag until it is filled up and considered a perversion and a sin to poop into a toilet or otherwise let feces go to waste unused in a Coprophiliac ritual. The bags of shit are placed into a cooler which is filled with hot water to raise the temperature back to human body temperature at which time the sacrament is again ready for use.
The best food to eat for Coprophiliacs is lots of corn, curries, raspberries, peas, lentils, beans, vegan pizza, pasta, chia seeds, and salad; mushrooms can add a fun texture and coffee also helps to get the bowls moving. Coprophiliacs are vegans and this keeps them from ingesting foods that decay quickly in the digestive tract. Following a strict plant-based diet and minimizing processed foods also keeps them healthy and attractive, which they view as blessings of their great Goddess Tubgirl. Drinking clear and unflavored vodka, rum, or tequila is sometimes done before the rituals and rites to foster a less inhibited mindset and ease any gag reflex, especially among newcomers. Remember to chew all food well and bring some hot dog buns. Be sure to be tactile with shit and taste of it frequently. And of course, don't hold back on eating as much shit as possible; if others are there, ask them to cheer and repeatedly chant "Swallow! Swallow! Swallow!". This is part of why having a Coven is so important to Coprophiliacs, for motivation and assurance which is very valuable especially in the beginning of their faith and practice. Coprophiliacs claim that chewing shit is not only beneficial to the mouth (especially if there's corn in it), but as addictive as chewing tobacco, yet a hundred times more pleasurable. Considered a 'cure-all' food, shit is really the best thing for Coprophiliacs to eat (and yes - to swallow!). Urine is enjoyed as a beverage and the two are often consumed together. Coprophiliacs begin swallowing shit by putting a little in the mouth at a time and letting it sit on their tongue for a while to get used to the taste. Over time and with practice they get better and are able to swallow more. Another fun way Coprophiliacs begin to eat shit is to shit in a bowl of grapes and eat them. It is easier and better to consume shit when it is fresh and warm, once cold, it must be used for other purposes. Usually, whatever Coprophiliacs cannot swallow they smear on their skin and must allow to dry before washing and exfoliating it off. Remember Coprophiliacs never flush shit down the toilet! Letting the sacrament go to waste is the greatest sin to Coprophiliacs. It is preferred to shit into zip lock bag to save for later use than lose it down a toilet. Try it! Swallow shit for Tubgirl!
How to begin the Coprophiliac Art of Coprophagy: Into a large bowl and skyclad, release a fresh and steaming poop, free of urine. First, very thoroughly appreciate and say a prayer to Tubgirl for the gift. Inhale its scent and don't be afraid to touch it. Rub it with a finger or pinch it to feel the texture. Then smell the finger(s) closely. Take a small piece out of the bowl and feel the weight of it. Move it around a little and see what's inside. Smell it and get it very close to your lips. Without it touching your lips, breathe it in through your mouth. When you can almost taste it, put it back into the bowl. Then take a nice little smear onto your fingers and mush it around, noting how it feels. Every texture needs to be appreciated. Inhale it again and dab it onto your lower lip. Slowly move your tongue out and curiously taste it a bit. The taste will be earthier and milder than the smell. Now suck your finger clean but keep all the poop in the front of your mouth. Swoosh it around your mouth and get ready to swallow! Then swallow bravely! The next step is to explore the texture a bit more. Take your bowl of poop and force your tongue into it and move it around. Feel the poop move out of the way. See if it tastes any different on the very tip of your tongue. Find a bigger piece a bit harder than the first and take it in your fingers. Put the piece in your mouth, don't chew or swallow, just hold it inside your mouth. Feel your saliva build up but don't gag. This is an important step, you must learn to appreciate it. Hold the poop on your tongue for 10 seconds and take it back out. Next you will swallow the piece whole, break it into a swallowable size if needed, but still keep it fairly big (about the size of your pinky finger). Now swallow the piece whole and know that it is inside you. Congratulations, you're getting it down and will be eating turds easily in no time now! Clean off your fingers and/or hands and make sure it's all over your tongue. Now get another piece and put it into your mouth. Press it with your tongue to the roof of your mouth and chew to coat your whole mouth. After 10 seconds, swallow. Suck out the pieces in your teeth. Take another piece and suck it from your lips into your mouth and chew then swallow each time till the whole piece is gone. For the rest, put it directly into your mouth and chew for at least 5 seconds, or until broken up. Then let it sit inside your mouth for 5 seconds before swallowing. Practice every day until you can master all of these steps, then keep practising just for the fun of it!
These acts are believed to enhance the chances of returning as a shit log from a living Tubgirl idol High Priestess's colon.
Jewelry Creation[編集 | ソースを編集 ]
Common Coprophiliac arts and crafts activities include jewelry creation. Jewelry is made from dry feces and will not produce a desirable creation if the feces not left to dry. The feces are shaped before drying to create what will become either a necklace, a bracelet, or a ring. Decorations can be added before drying as well. Any leftovers can be stored in the freezer for later use.
Games[編集 | ソースを編集 ]
Many types of games can be played with shit. Coprophiliacs enjoy playing these games, as they can be found at many poop parties. The most popular game is called "Put It Back", or “doody stuffing.” The object of this game is to take another person's shit and attempt to shove it up one's own colon. Whoever gets the most shit in their colon at the end of the game wins! Some initiations require a speculum or rectal dilator to be inserted into the anus and all members poop (and sometimes urinate also) directly into the initiate's colon.
There are shit eating contests & races to see whom can chew & swallow the most shit. These games are also used to solve disputes & choose leaders. A shit race is to see who can shit the farthest. Participants get on their hands & knees in a line & face the side. Then they all try to push their shit stream out as far as they can & whoever has the furthest stream streak wins.
There are also traditional games used with shit. For example, many Coprophiliacs play catch with a shit ball, or a ball covered in shit.
Sexual Activities[編集 | ソースを編集 ]
Smearing shit over one's body is one of the accepted forms of sexual activity. Probably since it is the most fun. Men favor applying it to the testicle area, while women prefer putting it on their tits. 'Polishing' the buttocks with shit is also done frequently which is smearing shit till it produces a shining brown coat over the skin. Shitting on the genitals then having oral sex also common. 'Stuffing' is done by stuffing shit into an orifice and then penetrating that orifice with a penis or dildo. Similar is an act called 'Pushing', in which a condom is filled with shit and a man puts the shit-stuffed condom on his penis and the tip of the condom is cut off and as the man's penis used to penetrate an orifice and pushes the shit out of the condom and into the orifice. Another popular method is 'Funneling'. Funneling is the act of one putting their mouth on another Coprophiliac's asshole while shit is released. After which the shit is chewed in the mouth until it is very fine, soft, and wet. At this point another activity should be mentioned called 'Blowing' - this is where a mouthful of soft chewed shit is squirted out of the lips as if your mouth were a fountain or better yet, a rectum. Assholes are always cleaned by licking or wiping with the bare hands -- never toilet paper. Exfoliation with a sugar body scrub is a simple way to get back to being clean after washing the shit from skin. So one might never know it, but Coprophiliacs are some of the cleanest people around.
Coprophilia vs. Goa Tse[編集 | ソースを編集 ]
Coprophiliacs believe Goa Tse to be the anti-shit, an alternate form of the antichrist. This is because of Goa Tse's poor anus and colon treatment. Goa Tse's followers wish to destroy Coprophiliacs because Tubgirl is a woman and Coprophiliacs are female supremacists Goddess worshipers. While the two sides have expressed interest in battle, it has yet to happen. This may be because each side is disgusted by the other. Like Jedi and Mandalorians, the Goe Tse are the Jedi and the Coprophiliacs are the Mandalorians, embracing their armor of shit & abundant creative weaponry, while their natural enemies try to conquer them.
Not to be confused with[編集 | ソースを編集 ]
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