Portal:Art
The Art Portal
Art might be the expression of amazing talent and possibly not stupidity or lack of imagination. Art may be generally considered purely a middle/upper class pursuit. However, some examples may have practical applications, meaning that they might also be enjoyed by the working classes.
Art is commonly understood as the act of making love to things that look like nothing much like people and which have no meaning beyond simple description. While art is often indistinguishable from mockery and pointless hobby activities, this boundary can at times be hard to define, as if anyone cares. The term creative arts denotes a collection of disciplines whose principal purpose is the output of material for the viewer or audience to ignore.
As such, art may be taken to include forms ranging from literary forms (posing as a writer or a poet); performance-based forms (a big song and dance over meagre grants; drama about how your genius is not appreciated); visual and "spastic arts" (panting, rupture, pornography); to forms that also have a dysfunctional role, such as pipefitting and pancake design. Art may also be understood as relating to lost creativity, missed æsthetics and the generation of pointless or disturbing emotion that honestly no one cares about.
- ↑ Interestingly, the modern German word for art is kunst, may be an anagram of a descriptive term possibly commonly applied to artists.
Featured Artistic Art Article
Pop-culture icon and lesbian role-model Frida Kahlo de Rivera (born Magdalena Carmen Frida "Caliente" Kahlo; July 6, 1907 – July 13, 1954) was an international painter known for her (yes, it's a her) ability to illustrate mustaches and unibrows in disturbingly accurate detail. Frida's life wasn't an easy one, but she made the most of it. One of the most recognizably influential artists of all time, her art, like her facial hair, is complex, fascinating and inspiring. This is her story.
Come across a decent article on art? Well, make sure you wipe it clean, pervert. Then submit it for promotion.
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The first references to Hermaphrodite appeared around 600 B.C. The god(ess) was frequently depicted in artwork and cave drawings in Ancient Greek culture though it was hard to draw both genitalia when hand painting on a wall. The Greek people would pray to Hermaphrodite if they needed help in their love life, or if they desired a sex change. In Greek society, Hermaphrodite was respected as a powerful divinity, and they often made ritualistic sacrifices to appease it them such as slaughtering a prisoner of war bought at the market on discount during the post-Christmas sales. There was even a holiday in their honor where the greeks would change gender roles for the day.
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Art News on Uncyclopedia
- Are aliens visiting Earth to steal artistic ability from humans?
- European critics praise American performance artist
- Bellagio unveils Toon Erotica exhibit
- Contemporary art piece sells for £193000, worth more than man's life
Got an art-related news story? You can add it to this portal here.
Highlighted Biography
Salvador Dalí was born “Salvador Domingo Felipe Jacinto Dalí i Domenech, Marquis of Pubol” in Spain in 1904. Dalí was like any normal person. He lived with his disciplinarian father, and his over-compensating mother, where he learned the values he held dear. Dalí upheld good practices such as eating your vegetables, drinking your milk, spitting on your toothbrush and not your dead mother's portrait, saying your prayers, and taking vitamins. He did this, like everything else, without complaining. Unlike Pablo Picasso who broke every rule from day one.
Given the length of his name, Dalí was unable to find a career in the mundane. With no skills to help him make money, he decided to earn even less money by his “art”. His unique perspective made his entry into the art world a given while his motivations were as cliché as any other artist: Being a famous painter gets you free drinks and a lot more girls go home with you.
Art Quote
— Dali
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Did You Know...
- ...that Cosimo de Medici was the actual painter of the Sistine Chapel, but that he gave credit to Michelangelo out of fear that he might attack him through a portal hidden in his toilet?
- ...that Marcel Duchamp actually was a pipefitter, just like Joe Cocker?
- ...that Adolf Hitler was killed by an austrian artist?
Further Reading
Below is a list of some other stuff vaguely connected to art:
Artsy Art Articles
Art | Photography | Poetry | First Gradeism | ASCII art | Bad Art | Surrealism | Dance | Music | Photoshop | Latte art | Look, It's Art | Graffiti | Fascism (Artistic Movement) | Literature | Artistic licence | Avant-Garde | HowTo:Draw Female Breasts | Abstract expressionism | Baby Impressionism | Conceptual Art | Architecture | UnBooks:Vincent Van Gogh's Things To Do on a Rainy Afternoon
What You Can Do To Help
- Find a remarkable article about art, artists, or Art, and suggest it for promotion
- Help these arty articles. Some will be healed by a simple spell check, others need something a little more drastic
- Add sombre, boring or otherwise artistic quotes here
- Found or made an image that'd look nice as a feature? Submit it here
- Be as artistic as you possibly can
- Steal a Rembrandt from somewhere and donate it to us
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