|
Walter Peyton "Place" Manning is the second-greatest quarterback in NFL history, and the older brother of the greatest QB in NFL history, Eli Messiah. He hasn't won a championship because his teammates suck royally. His entire career is exactly like his father's, promising but ultimately insufficient, and it's all his teammates' faults.
Manning is also noted for throwing an NFL record 78 touchdown passes during Madden NFL 2004, barely surpassing Dan Marino's 76 TDs during Tecmo Super Bowl in 1991.
Manning is a good teammate, and as such, hasn't said anything, but his entire team sucks except for him.
So far he has nothing to say about coaches and management. Some people say this is because he is white enough to not anger the people who sign the checks and call the plays that he then waves off with five seconds on the clock, but they're a bunch of racists. He's not like Terrell Owens, ok? And don't say Owens isn't white enough to be as ignorant as Manning and get away with it, ok. You don't understand NFL politics at all.
(more...)
Recently featured: Vietnam War Hoax - Uncyclopedia for Dummies - HowTo:Run away from home - Blackbeard Catering Company - Really Big Tree
Yesterday's Featured Advert
Jimmy Whiteman is the current dictator of Jamaica and Panama, where his crime family is currently headquartered. Well known for his criminal expertise, it's thought that Whiteman and his crime family have literally robbed everything in the world. Perhaps his most famous robbery is his heist on the Pentagon, where he literally stole the building.
Jimmy Whiteman birthed himself out of a can of beans on July 4, 1969. The young Whiteman said his first words a couple seconds after birth, in which he simply said; "Motherfucker." What this means is unknown. At the ripe age of 3 days old, Whiteman gave a wedgie to another toddler, which was later revealed to be Donald Trump. Whiteman shouted expletives at Trump and ran off, going into hiding. The F.B.I. immediately made Whiteman one of the Top 10 Most Wanted due to Trump's father giving the F.B.I. a small loan of one million dollars. After about three months of hiding in some shithole town in Idaho, Whiteman paid off the F.B.I. using a treasure chest full of gold doubloons. Soon after this, Whiteman swam from the United States to Vietnam to fight in the ongoing war. Whiteman washed on the shores of Vietnam and was immediately captured by NVA troops. (Full article...)
| 
It's sad when everyone knows this kicker is the best player on either team.
