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Stop, stop there my friend!
You, my fine fellow, were born several years ago and now you are gay.
gay gay gay
I'm here to tell you that you're gay and you'd better get used to it.
Er, what?
No whining or going into a hissy fit. Although that is now infinitely more socially acceptable now that you are gay.
Why have you handcuffed yourself to me?
Ahahaha, I'm afraid you'll have to get used to things like that now, gay boy!
And that also goes for you if you're not a boy. You're gay too – as a Christmas tree. A true friend of Dorothy. Don't pretend you aren't, don't fight it, get yourself right up here and pin your pink colours to the mincey mast aboard the good ship Rainbow, setting sail from closet harbour and out into the big wide world! (Full article...)
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DID Y0U KN0W...
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- ... that pillow fighting is a violent trend among the world's pillow population, and must be stopped?
- ... that the apostrophe is a small animal which has infected millions of books?
- ... that in order to complete the video game World of Warcraft, over one cubic mile of animals must be clicked?
- ... that existing is highly dangerous, and should not be performed unless you are competent enough to understand how to perform it?
- ... that the Byzantine Empire is pretty much the same as the Roman Empire, only not as cool?
- ... that rounding up sheep is easiest to the nearest ten?
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IN 7H3 N3W5
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Kamala Harris announces her VP pick
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0N 7HI5 D4Y...
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August 7: Anniversary of the Day The Matrix Stopped Being Cool
- 2003 - An adolescent who, for no reason at all, starts mimicking the slow-motion bullet dodge from the first Matrix film on a bus, is appalled to discover that his fellow passengers are not immediately breaking out in applause and high-fives, as is usual whenever any reference to The Matrix is made by anyone at any time.
- 2004 - A suburban family, watching a toothpaste advertisement featuring characters in black leather doing kung-fu, lets out a bored sigh in complete unison.
- 2005 - A stand-up comedian, beginning a joke with the words "You take the blue pill", is booed off-stage and has his car tires slashed.
- 2006 - A man is kicked to death for saying "whoa" in a Keanu-esque fashion.
- 2008 - Robert Mugabe becomes the 44th President of the USA, announces that the Matrix "is totally not cool" and that people caught watching it "will be shot."
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WRI73R 4ND N00B 0F 7H3 M0N7H
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Holy cock! We may have forgotten to update these over these last few months. The days we missed could be counted as few as if at all. We have just updated this since last May. How awesome!
So basically, let's get to business. Take off your pants; IFYMB! wins Writer of the Month for September 2014. His hit singles include the frankly libellous UnNews:Nude photos of celebrities leaked, the almost-topical UnDebate:What does the fox say? and the spiritually upliftingUnNews:Thursday is a dirty whore.
Let us all clap for him because I said so.
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| This Uncyclopedia, started in 2005, currently contains 37,822 articles. Uncyclopedias are being written in many languages, including Pig Latin!
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